My bf just doesn’t understand. He has never seen me in psychosis, luckily and I just can’t explain it. He quit his job yesterday, saying it was like he had a nervous breakdown. I don’t want to diminish or reduce his feelings at all, but he equated it to what I’ve been through. He got pissed off and fed up with his work and yelled at a coworker. Not good. More than that, he sees me struggle with negative symptoms everyday. But my lack of energy, motivation, interest, speaking very little most of the time, and sleeping a lot are either just my personality flaws or laziness to him. If I try to explain that these traits are symptoms he just thinks I’m making excuses and using it as a crutch. Maybe I am, idk. It sounds enjoyable to most to pick up a new hobby, but I don’t have any interest. I sit and watch TV day after day and that’s really all I care to do. I can’t pull myself out of this funk. Meds have never helped with it. yeah it sucks, but if this is my existence I’m ok with that. I’ve accepted it for now and hope it will improve. But I can’t handle someone actively making me feel bad about it every couple of days. He is trying to help. But it makes me feel worse.
Sz is very hard to understand for a person who doesn’t have it, especially the negative symptoms. I’ve wrestled with mine for over five and a half decades. Now I’m in a place where not much is expected of me, and I don’t feel so guilty about doing nothing. I know it is very hard to overcome the negative symptoms, but no one else can direct your life but you. You could end up in a place like where I am if you don’t. If that’s okay with you, then set your sights on that, but if you want more out of life, only you can do it.
Your boyfriend sounds toxic from what you say. there are “plenty of fish in the sea” as they say. when I was married to another schizophrenic she understood me and helped me. perhaps date another schizophrenic for more understanding?
Well I guess if you want someone who motivates you, that can be a good thing. But it sounds like he is pushing you further than you’re ready to go. That isn’t fair. He may be trying to help, but if he only makes you feel worse, that isn’t actually helping anything. Some people just don’t understand how to handle things like that. It may be coming from a good place in his heart, but if it’s not helping then it’s not fair for you to keep subjecting yourself to that negative energy. Sounds like he needs to be educated. Have you suggested him going on to the family forums so he can learn firsthand that what you are doing is normal for someone suffering?
I believe everyone is born with a gift…
When any of you are in the darkest of the dark with this affliction, (and believe me, I’ve been there more than once) please just try to remind yourself that there would be one less colour in the world’s rainbow without you!
No I haven’t suggested that and he doesn’t seem that interested. But that may hopefully change, because now I’m am almost in psychosis. My active or positive symptoms have returned some. Messages, telepathy and all but this time I have found myself though it so thank God, my mind is in tact. I know he now sees the huge difference in my personality from the negative symptoms to now so he is getting a Fuller picture now.