He said it doesn’t matter to him but he is somehow convinced mine is a mood disorder. I worry. I worry at some point he’ll get tired of me and leave. It’s a waiting game.
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Yeah i feel the same sometimes 
but he adores me so i have to trust him somehow
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Or maybe he’ll stay because he really doesn’t care about it and also loves you
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You guys have been together a long time and you still seem very insecure in this relationship.
I’m not sure how to feel about it.
It’s definitely the bigger problem.
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Yeah I agree with @Charles_Foster
You always seem so unsure about things happening in your relationship @anon25873142
This could be a problem
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I’m unsure cos this illness is very unpredictable. What if I become someone I don’t like and he leaves ?
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He’s been there for you in the past.
Why would things change now?
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I just worry I’ll become abusive or something. If I did I wouldn’t want him to stay. He deserves better. We not had a single fight which I find very odd. But what if we do
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Some disagreements in a relationship can be healthy.
As long as it stays civil.
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“What If” statements are a form of anxiety.
It’s super hard not to be anxious with this illness and all its variables.
But you guys have been together for like ages, and there’s some evidence there that can help assuage your fears.
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Your partner will overlook the schizophrenia disease unless some cataclysmic event or behavior alters his perception and knowledge of this mental health issue. At least disclosing the disease to your partner has been overcome instead of hiding or disguising your symptoms.
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I too, would find not having an argument with your partner very unusual. Majority of couples would disagree on various topics and resolve them or not. However, no fighting with a partner should signal a red flag???
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We have plenty of disagreements we just don’t argue simply agree to disagree and move on. Like I’m vegetarian and he’s not. I don’t force my way of life on him and vice versa.
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Well, I would think bringing this topic of no arguments & no fighting to your partner since you are discussing it with us.
We always talk about it. We just never found a reason to fight I guess. We don’t live together. Maybe living together will be different.
@shutterbug & @Charles_Foster and their expertise would be greatly appreciated on this subject of discussion.
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I think @Charles_Foster already mentioned she’s not sure how she feels about the situation. If I’m honest I’m very glad we don’t argue I don’t need a lot of that in my life. It’s odd but it keeps me sane. But I still worry. And the fact that he won’t marry me yet also bothers me quite a bit.
So anyway I’m unsure about the situation myself.
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Well, first, if you fully and honestly disclosed your medical condition to him then you have upheld your end of the bargain and in an honourable fashion. My own wife often forgets I have an ongoing struggle with mental illness because I have possibly grown too skilled with masking. It’s something I just do automatically now. When I’m having a bad day or week, my wife will be like, oh, right. SZ. Sorry."
Second, I’m more bothered by his dodging marriage. You’ve made it clear that marriage is important to you. What this really means is that commitment is important to you. My opinion is that he needs to step up here - I think you are a good hearted person who deserves to be in a committed relationship.
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If you can reduce anxiety you will probably worry less about your relationship and other stuff.
Anxiety is like a magnet for negative thoughts
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Thats how it is with me as well. Like if i verbally bring up that im having a bit of an episode to my family they are almost surprised as if they thought it was gone now. Its never gone lol
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