Am having a bad one. Some of you may have seen my previous posts where I describe my notions that I am feeling suirveilled by the benefits people. This is a big deal for me.
I will quickly recap my ideas. A couple of years ago I filled in my form for welfare. It had loads of questions about every part of my life and how sz effects it. Some of these questions where about physical and some mental. I sort advice from my health team about how to fill in the form.
They said fill it out as if it is your absolute worst day - so I did. But one question that stuck out in my mind was: do you socialise? I filled it out no. I returned the form, got the welfare and didn’t think anymore about it.
A few months ago I saw my doctor and he was worried that I was isolating myself far too much. He said if I didn’t change my ways I was going to have a big relapse (over winter I didn’t leave my flat for three months and was hugely neglectful of myself - didn’t shower for months). He said I had to get out more.
I live in a tiny village in the country. There is no shop, no cafe or community centre. Only a handful of buses come a day to take you into town - but to be honest I have problems getting around the city. I have no friends and my extended family have severe health problems so I don’t really impose on them.
My village does have a pub however. So I decided I would try going in there a few times a week. This was very difficult but I stuck at it. Over the last few months my social anxiety/paranoia has got a little bit better. I even speak to some of the regulars a little which is nice…
However I was walking past the pub today and two VERY OFFICIAL looking women came out holding what looked like case files. They got into a car, sat there, made a phone call then drove off. Anyway this set of huge alarm bells in my brain.
Basically I am convinced they are from the welfare agency and they are going to put me in jail for going to the pub these lasts weeks. I am so certain about this. I have entertained similar ideas for years: namely that the benefits people are following me.
The distress I am feeling is indescribable - I have thrown 600mg of seroquel at it and this hasn’t even touched the sides. Have been on the phone to the crisis teams but short of hospital there is not much can be done.
It is just the paranoia that is getting on to you. There is no one spying on you to take away your benefits or to put you behind bars. In order for that to be a possibility I guess you’d have to be reassessed.
I understand that very anxious feeling about being followed… but they can’t put you in jail… your NOT committing fraud. The Doc told you get out and do what you can.
With a small town and no real chance to socialize… the pub is all that’s left. I do hope you feel better soon…
I can say that it’s all coincidence… about the ladies…
I can try to reassure you that your not being spied on… but I know how it feels…
It’s scary. I hope you can talk to your doc… get some piece of mind that your not going to jail for following what the doc told you.
Getting out is hard… I’m glad to hear you stuck with it. I hope you’ll be able to enjoy the pub again soon.
There’s probably a VERY slight chance that you’re being spied upon. its not out of the realm of possibility. But its probably a 99% chance out of a hundred that you are NOT being spied on. Even if you are (which I highly doubt) the welfare office will probably not take your benefits away because you go to a pub now and then and talk to a couple people. They will not take your benefits away because you occasionally chat for a few minutes. Just because you put on the application that you don’t socialize does not mean that they expect you never socialize. Humans are social animals and welfare knows you may be socializing because it’s natural and it doesn’t mean you’re recovered.
No matter what you put on the application they do not expect you to never socialize. Geeez, I’ve been on disability for thirty years. I socialize, I work, I take college classes, I drive, I live on my own. I still meet the criteria to receive SSDI because I can’t support myself, I have schizophrenia symptoms, I see a psychiatrist, and I need lots of help.
You think you talk to a few people that welfare will think you are recovered? I highly doubt it. I hope this brings you a little peace of mind, James. No one is going to take away your benefits because you have a few conversations in a pub. Am I a 100% sure your not being spied on? I can’t say for sure but it is HIGHLY improbable. But if they are spying on you, who cares? You shouldn’t. You’re disabled with one of the most disabling mental illnesses there are. I would venture a guess and say you are going to safely keep your benefits.
mate, no one is after you…
the CIA, MIB, FBI…especially not the welfare people.
you are paranoid…and having a delusion.
i have thought the same thing…it is all rubbish.
you are safe.
take care
Hey folks. Thanks for the replies. Feeling a bit better now. It’s just when I have these ideas they are so real. I find it so hard to challenge them.
Because that’s pretty much what happens that sets off the severe delusions. Get that under control, and the delusions diminish, and sometimes go away for very long periods of time.
I haven’t had one now for months. And I don’t have them very often anymore because I use several forms of mindfulness training to keep my ANS in balance. See Find Psychiatrists, Psychiatric Nurses - Psychology Today. I take my meds every day, as well.
Does it really matter? There are billions of cameras everywhere. Even when there isn’t, you should assume you’re being watched or monitored (in my opinion)). Immediately resorting to the seroquil isn’t a good sign, but I do the same… different drug though. Guess I’ve been facing it since pre-teen when this song came out.
“The percentage of Americans in the prison system, prison system
Prison system, has doubled since 1985”
I applaud you for going out like you are, I’m still afraid to leave my house because of negative symptoms kicking in when I do.I highly doubt anyone was following you. Who knows maybe she was just a business type woman who took her work home with her and was finish it up at the pub with a drink. And not that i want to add your panicked thoughts, but if you do get a call or check-up from welfare, just tell them your doctor told you to get out more but you are still experiencing strong symptoms when you do.
