Schizophrenia.com

Having a hard time parting with my money


#1

can’t bring myself to take on debt to get a horticulture degree. I probably will at some point but the whole college thing is fading in my rear view mirror so to speak.

why should I want to part with my money to go to school?


#2

Could you do self study and perhaps volunteer your time at a greenhouse? Personally I’m thinking of volunteering my time at a local kennel even though it’s a business. Just an idea.


#3

yeah im going to self study. at some point I may want a degree. if it doesn’t happen before im 40 it never will. that gives me 6 years.


#4

I’m 29 years old. I dropped out of college at 22 years old. It’s been 7-8 years. I was a math major and did not do well (I never failed though). I can barely remember calculus. I had to discharge my loans due to disability. College is so expensive!

I feel like the medication prevents me from thinking but it helps keep me sane and out of the hospital. The whole hospital thing is a joke. They don’t even help people. They have very low expectations of people. I get so medicated, I can barely think when I get out. It’s like I have to start over from square one. They try to medicate my delusions, but they persist. My main problem is severe anxiety and depression. I also have cognitive symptoms. Thank god I’m only on 4.5 mg of Vraylar and Wellbutrin. Just two meds. I still feel low motivation because of the AP. Also, I take sarcosine and coq10.

If I go back, I’d probably attempt a math major again, but start all over at the junior level. In the meantime, I can take math courses at coursera/edx and even re-read a calculus book.

My problem is it goes in and goes out just as quickly.

I cannot focus as long as I used to (I had unlimited focusing power before I got sick). It was insane.

More important than school is for me to be around people, keep up my hygiene, and take care of my health. School will come second to this, for me.

I still have a hard time driving far and being outside of the house while alone.

Preferably, I would major in computer science, computer engineering, or electrical engineering. I would love to have my own business someday. I’m just more comfortable with math.

I don’t even know if I could do it anymore. It’s so abstract. I’m tired of relearning things.

I’d need to get a job otherwise school makes no sense. I used to want the degree to have a degree. Having my own family is not important to me anymore. I just want money.