I am a different person before and after the illness.
I think the most I struggled with is fitting back into society. I have accepted some things I can not do like others.
I have a disability. That does not mean I have given up. But I can not work a full time job at this point of recovery for example. But I can do a lot of different things.
I have changed and accepted my condition I guess, to a certain extent.
I think maybe this is what I struggled with most. I am not completely incapable but I am not the same person anymore with the abilities. I am very much dependant on others, my medication etc.
Remember you just switched medication, takes time. Just a little patience, you know? You do not have to do what others are doing at all (your own words) :o) Not sure what you want to do anyway? Find a job?
The 2nd time I stopped going to university, I realized I couldn’t really work part time even, but I’ve managed to create a relatively meaningful life volunteering and participating in the community.
Honestly I am in the same boat. Some days I have to reply email and can not, I force myself to do a lot of things so eventually I feel good. This medication makes me a lot better though.
I want to take courses, volunteer. I am afraid of committing and not being able to finish. Like a painting class + I wanted to learn Spanish and improve my French + I wanted to volunteer at certain places. Maybe I can do very few hours.
I’m finding the same now, but with middle age. There are some physical changes that mean I can’t do what I could when I was younger. Which is okay, because I have life experience now that gives me a real advantage in certain areas that I didn’t have when I was younger, either. Life is change. Change is okay.
It’s good to know your limitations. We should be on guard against the onset of symptoms and should have the tools to cope with them. It is always good with SZ and also in general to lower your expectations. It helps to be realistic.
I have lowered my expectations significantly after my break. For the first two years I was just trying to be able to speak normally and get up every morning. I managed to achieve good grades in a few community college classes and get accepted at my university of choice. I feel so lucky I was able to do these things, for the first several months to a year out of the hospital I was struggling to do even the most basic things, constantly addled by different types of symptoms. Part of the reason I got accepted to college was being an underrepresented minority, another part was my great sat scores from before my prodrome. So I’ve had more than a little assistance along the way. This semester I will probably rely on disability accomodations and heavy doses of medication to get through my classes. Hopefully I can keep up with all the other normal students, really that’s all I want. I try and keep the bar low for myself, l tend to cycle in and out of motivation, some days it is a miracle that I even managed to wake up and brush my teeth.
Same. It costs you lots but I’d love to work full time. Trouble is meds make me way too sleepy! It’s not a bad life but you do lower your expecations a little!
I feel the same way.
I won’t start anything if I feel that I might fail something somehow. Which means I never start anything.
I don’t take risks anymore either. I’m living a very boring life and haven’t been to college in 7 years…I could of been something by this time.
I’m failing myself by not pursuing anything in life. I just sit at home all day long for all these years and I’m doing nothing.
I was 14 so I had some high hopes. I was going to be a basketball player or a personal trainer or a singer. Those weren’t realistic to begin with.
Today my hope is to get into low income housing so I can live by myself. To lose weight until I’m somewhere near a normal weight. To get a girlfriend somehow.
I think I can do the first two. The last I’m not so sure. Working would make the last thing a lot easier but I don’t know if I can.
I have very much so. I have PTSD so I have to be very careful not to push myself too much or I’d go downhill pretty fast. Right now I am somewhat confined to my house, volunteering from home, possibly working from home in the future as well.
I have to live with the possibility that I might not find a partner, or have to be a group home in the far future. I have very little family to help take care of me. I’m not sure I can reach a point in recovery where I can be on my own successfully. I would like that though, regardless of whether I am working or not.
