Have not seen my father lately

He is at the elderly care facility and nurses take care of him. My bike broke and I have not been able to see him. He has/had also sz and some really interesting things have happened. Once in 2004 he was taken to the police lock-up by local cops and they kept him there for few days. He was released after I had talked with one police officer who asked, if I knew my father was mentally ill. I said that I did not know, although I knew he spoke alone and heard voices. He was released from the police station. Later after few months I learned from his lawyer that he had said all kinds of crazy things when cops had interviewed him. He had told how neighbours poison our coffee and so on. His problem was with these neighbours and eventually he went to the court and got a 30-day probation. Some really crazy things have happened.

I’m sorry you haven’t been able to visit your father. Is there a bus or other public transportation you could take to see him?

My bike is now fixed, but somehow I have lost motivation. In the past many years I have visited him weekly, sometimes twice a week, but often when I visit him he just sleeps. He speaks very little and nurses are taking care of him. I do not think he gets much enjoyment from anybody’s visit. One day he dies and I want to shine in my black suit in his funeral. I got this black suit in 1990 in Atlanta for the celebration of the independence day of Finland and I am making efforts to lose some weight that the suit fits me perfectly.

Even though he doesn’t seem to get enjoyment from the visits I’m sure he appreciates the company, knowing that someone cares enough to visit.

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He has dementia among other illnesses, people with dementia and Alzheimer do not really understand much when somebody visits them, my mother’s other husband has Alzheimer and he does not really understand anything, does not even remember names as my father does not remember names either, he sometimes have said that I am his brother who died in 2007.

I’m sorry, it must be painful when to visit seeing him how he is now. When I used to visit my grandmother I would get her to reminisce about her youth. She loved talking about the past and I liked to think of her how she used to be before the dementia set in. Sometimes it just feels good to do the right thing, to visit them and spend time with them knowing that they won’t be around forever.

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