Yes, absolutely - without Schizophrenia I would have gone to college and earned a degree … Instead I’m at home watching Disney movies because I’m too scared to do anything else 
I was urged by my sponsor in AA to start keeping a recovery journal when I first joined the program. They’ve been around forever, but you can get the basic idea here:
I noticed that since it was helping me with my recovery, maybe starting a second journal just for my mental illness would be helpful. So I’ve been doing that for over a quarter century. You can tell how much money I had at that time in my life by how cheap the journals are! I write down where I am with my illness once a week. What are my delusions and hallucinations? How bad are they? What meds am I on. What did I accomplish? What did I not accomplish? What are my goals for the next week. Do I have a plan? What good things happened? What bad things happened that I need to learn from? And so on. It helped me to stay focused on recovery and to stay on the positive side of things.
Does this make sense?
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Most definitely. Before schizophrenia I was going to university to get my bachelors of science in chemistry, I was working, going to the gym, working on acting and modeling and it felt as if life was taking off for me and that I was going to be doing something great in life or be famous but all of it got ruined. I never did drugs, drank or smoked but later found out it might have been genetic because my real mother who I’ve never met might have been schizophrenic. I’ve had a really messed up life but I try to move forward and try to be grateful that I’ve come this far.
My 1st admission was the term I was due to take my A levels . I never did take them . An abortive attempt at doing a history A level by correspondence later the same year has been the only academic thing I’ve attempted since that 1st admission in 1975 . I knew a few people a couple of years older than me who had got to university but quit the first or second term there due to having a breakdown . Their dx was schizophrenia .
It defiantly delayed me. My twenties were awful and while most people my age were getting married and having kids…I lost my career and ending up in a home. But my thirties have been much better and now I’m a home owner have a dog have a partner and planning a child.
Yeah, my dream to ride the winning horse in the Triple Crown came crashing to an end at 19 when I was first diagnosed. If they come out with better, more effective medication maybe I will try again though.
bloody sure sz has held me back…ive had it since i was 26 im 44 now…ive just be crazy for most of that time, not getting anything done, kinda wasting away
if i didnt have sz i dont know what i would have achieved…i may have gotten a qualification but i doublt it…id probably be working some menial job, but it would still be better than sz
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I’m not sure if schizophrenia has held me back. It hit me my freshman year of college, when everything was going well. I had good grades, a steady girlfriend, social life. Who knows what I would’ve become if sz didn’t hit me. But I try not to worry about it. Currently, I have a job lined up, I’m talking to a girl who accepts my illness, I take my meds, I don’t booze anymore. So it’s not all bad, for me at least.
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It kind of ruined my hopes for having kids but I managed to get married and stay married 11 years now. I can’t really say having kids was ever that important to me, although the rejection by several normie girlfriends for being “tainted” was extremely painful.
I couldn’t work in a cubicle long hours for companies run by jerks anymore so I had to be the designated caregiver while my siblings went off to work and had good incomes. I would drive my brother a pretty long distance to work everyday sometimes in blizzards and my family would give me spending money. I even reported this income to Social Security but they wouldn’t even dignify it as real work which is mostly a good thing though a bit demeaning. It’s great now that people like me can get paid to be Medicaid caregivers for some friends and relatives but I feel a little too worn out to try it now. I would never ever work for a company or organization again if I didn’t have a good grasp of their values and made sure they were compatible with mine. I volunteered for a nonprofit for several years and mostly loved it.
So status and income took big hits, but health and happiness haven’t been harmed too much and I am fortunate to have more time to pursue pretty cool music and software projects that I hadn’t had time for before.
It does makes sense. Thank you.
I am useless because of schizophrenia.
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