Happening to me a lot

I’ll know something, a song I want to listen to, a person I want to mention, anything, something I know but my mind just goes blank when it’s “on the tip of my tounge” as people say. It’s been happening more than usual since my last two runs through mental hell. I’d been thinking of this as thought blocking, but I just looked it up again and I guess thought blocking is when someone’s speaking and just stops talking for a period of time. I know someone with schizophrenia that does this. What I’m experiencing isn’t that.

The odd thing though is that every time it happens I “hear” (more like someone’s thinking in my head though I have had auditory symptoms) a voice say “because I don’t want you to remember/say that” It’s really weird.

Sounds kinda like what I had happen a lot, where I would forget a thought before I had a chance to even acknowledge it. It was so frustrating. Like I’d want to Google something or listen to a song, and forget before I could even realize what the subject was. Since I started Sarcosine however, that happens far less frequently and I actually remember many things now, that I would never be able to recall.

In moments of desperation I just let myself use the wrong word, and then count on someone being eager to correct me.

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When my brain wont get out of high gear, Idraw a blank at the dumbest things.
Then the answer will come out of nowhere a few minutes later, hopefully,but by then It’s too late to save myself.

Not to get to analytical here, but next time it happens, stop to wonder what this song, person, etc reminds you of or means to you. You might figure it out.