what i can, when i can
I figured it out when a little girl came to talk to me once. She came into the room through a wall and a chair. I had a conversation with her nonetheless but the whole time I was thinking how is that possible.
Then I figured out a whole bunch of other more complex stuff wasn’t real.
If I had never seen that girl come through a wall I would probably still think all the other crazy stuff I hallucinated really happened.
When I tell people (doctors and therapists) what really happened to me in the hospital they think I hallucinated all of it but I didn’t. Some of it was real.
You are hallucinating people if the hallucinations look like people.
What happened if it’s not too triggering?
You usually cannot differentiate. Its not like hallucinated people walk around with some sort of ‘tell’ for you to figure out. (Thats also why you’re schizophrenic). Dont worry about it honestly. Hallucinating people is pretty rare. But if you’re concerned about it -ask some people (like your doctor too).
It’s a long story.
Right before that I was suddenly transported onto a stage and there was an emcee telling me I was the worst person in the world and I had to die but I had to kill myself or everybody else in the world would die.
There was a large audience and I thought everyone that wasn’t in the audience was at home watching me on tv.
Then all of these people started walking in and out of doors and I thought God was reminding me all these people would die if I didn’t kill myself.
I started banging my head against the wall but not hard enough to die.
There is more too it but that’s the summary of it.
I am assuming that didn’t really happen.
It sure seemed real at the time.
It took me a few days to figure it out. I was psychotic as hell. My doctor made notes about me rambling about the end of the world and I am still alive and not the last person left.
I have a mental checklist that I’ve used for so many years I can run through it subconsciously in a matter of seconds. I use every day, I have to. When I sit here trying to think about the questions I ask myself in this checklist the only ones immediately come to mind to tell if they are real are:
- Are the visibly injured in a grotesque or otherwise frightening way? (If yes, and you see no accident or reason for it, they likely aren’t real)
- Are they breathing? (I’ve noticed my schizophrenic hallucinations are kind of stupid, they don’t breathe. This is hard to tell if there is distance between you and them, but if they are talking to you, it’s a really quick tool to verify they aren’t real if there not breathing.)
- Is anyone else, that you know is real, recognizing this ‘persons’ prescence? (If not, again, probably a hallucination).
- Have you seen them before? (If it’s someone you know, they are likely real, in my case anyways. My mind doesn’t typically project people I know.)
- Are they a fully solid mass? (if not, not human, at least not alive)
The list goes on like this, silly questions to ask yourself can sometimes give you the answer you are looking for. Even things like, what are they wearing? If there clothes are clearly from another era, it’s likely your brain is projecting a hallucination there. I’ve found all my checklist questions on my own and I find that seems to be the trick, figuring out what works for you. Take the seeds of someone else’s idea for determining real or fake and put your own personal spin on it.
In doing this, I am able to drive back country roads and inner cities with confidence that I know what is an actual person, what is something I consider to be a ghost, and what is a pure as day trick of my mind hallucination.
I hope this helps.
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