Going to the toilet in someone else's place/bathing

Number one- no problem but number two- a living nightmare.

As well as the toilet issue as i’m staying there a couple of days there’s the bath issue. At home i tend to make do with strip washes as i’m not too fond of my bath- low and narrow and i feel like a human sardine- but my step daughter is a bath every night type. If she runs the bath for her then she’s the sort to say ‘do you want to get in after me.?’
I f i say ‘no’ to a bath she’ll think ‘scabby’ . Then there’s the whole issue of once i’m in pyjamas do i then head straight for bed . Is it infra dig to sit in your step daughter’s lounge in your pyjamas ? If you are staying at someone else’s should you wear underpants under your pjs?

Of course if i was normal i wouldn’t have this crap going through my head and would know what to do.


Give her a chance, talk to her about what makes you feel more comfortable. You don’t know she’ll think “scabby” she just MIGHT think… I understand, you feel uncomfortable not being at home. She does know you and had seen what you’ve been fighting.

Ask her about the PJ thing. She might be a very casual person. Let her know the dynamics of what your fighting… She might surprise you and be very understanding.

I’d feel so stupid asking her…

I wouldn’t assume that “normal” people would know what to do when spending the night with other relatives.

My sis will ask our own other brother… “So, what are your house rules?”

That could be considered a courtesy

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if you don’t feel comfortable , run the water, close the door , and pretend you having a bath…it is called an ’ air ’ bath.
good luck…it will be fine.
take care


Here I thought an air bath was laying under a ceiling fan with no clothes on!


Number 2, don’t worry about it. She probably has some freshening device like Febreeze.

For the bath, I consider bathing/showering at someone else’s place to be a spa day experience. You figure out the faucet and fixtures and do what you would normally do.

I would wear underpants under your pajamas. I’ll sometimes wear a comfortable bra ( women have to think about this stuff too). I was sharing a hotel room with my step mom and little sister last weekend.

As far as chilling out in your pjs keep that to a minimum. Wait until the last minute to change, that way she has gone to bed and you get your private time.

You’ll do fine, I know it. Take this trip for what it is, a mini vacation with the added bonus of visiting family.

As a guest, you don’t want to offend, so if you don’t stink, how often you bathe doesn’t matter.
What you wear behind your bedroom door is entirely your business, but if you want to leave the bedroom, just make sure all is covered, and nothing hanging out. Pj’s are ok to wear as long as your decent.

Number two can be a problem for a lot of people when they are not at home. Unless I’m away from home for a week then I don’t go unless at home. Very common.

I would say wear underpants under your pjs when not at home. And yes it is acceptable to wear your pjs around the home if it’s evening hours especially when it’s family :smile:

If I gotta go I gotta go and anywhere is fine… I mean not in the middle of the street of course or where some stranger will see…LOL …but I can go in anyones house or business…if it stinks I’ll ask for some air freshener or just warn them to stay out of the bathroom for awhile… I’ve pulled to the side of the roads and went behind a tree or into a ditch for emergency #2 a few times before…

Also I have no problem going in front of my partner or a really close friend… I know they’re not actually going to watch me go, but will stand nearby and keep on a conversation and stuff… I coined the phrase ‘drop and plop’ a few years ago… of course I live in the woods where I can get away with such things and my wife did same too…it’s not something you can do in a city - there you have to find some store or gas station to do your business…though I have #1 in an alley a couple times

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I like it… the drop and plop. Your right, it never works in the city.

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