Yea it kinda sucks but it’s necessary because as I get older (I’m 51 now) the negative symptoms have gotten worse. I have incontinence and I’m in diapers all the time now. I live alone and I can hardly keep up with my own decline. I’m diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which is getting progressively worse as time goes by. I need help and am trying to get it, but there’s a lot of red tape that I have to go through to be admitted to a decent nursing home, and right now all I can do is follow up on all the tests they want me to take, and play the waiting game. Then if the nursing home accepts me (which they most likely will) I can finally get some relief from all this burdensome living which is really dragging me down. I hate it.
I’m sorry your going through this…I hope it doesn’t take too long and you get into a good one…best of luck…
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Thanks for your kind words. I need support right now - that’s why I joined, and I’m glad I did.
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Oh your new too…welcome I’m glad you found us…it really does help having people going through similar things to talk to…and its a nice distraction from the daily grind of sz…
I’m sorry you’re having trouble. A nursing home sounds like a good idea. I hope they accept you!
It’s scary you know - I do things that don’t make any kind of sense like acting really childish or even babyish at times - it’s like something inside takes over and runs me around making me do weird unfathomable things. I stay away from most people because I’m afraid my “eccentricity” will show and others will turn away like they usually do after a while. In a nursing home I can be okay as myself without being afraid of everything all the time. I’m actually looking forward to it - if that makes any sense.
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I hope you get into a nursing home soon since that’s what you want. I am sorry you are having difficulty with life. I understand.
I have a recall of memory when i first came to terms with my diagnosis reading about sz, that one type of schizophrenia causes unwanted childish behavior??? Might’ve been catonia. Although catonic sz is rare.
Do you have other options? Where are you based?
They used to call it hebaphrenia a long time ago, but designations like paranoid, catatonic, hebaphrenic, and simple schizophrenia are no longer in use generally. Schizophrenia is just schizophrenia.
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I’m not looking for other options even if they existed. I can’t live alone anymore, living with a roommate would never work, and I have no family able to take care of me. And I really need help. Recently I was cold, so I turned the oven on and left the door open. It caused a buildup of carbon monoxide that set off the detector in my neighbor’s apartment, and thankfully everyone got out safely. I should have known better, and if I was in my right mind I would not have done something so reckless. I smoke and am too careless with that, and it’s a good thing that the carpeting here is fire resistant. There are a lot of holes in it. I believe my decline has reached a point of unmanageability. I’m hanging on by a thread. I have to change my own diapers constantly and it’s a pain in the ass - literally. Ha ha.
With all your problems I’m amazed that you write so well, so clearly. Some part of you is working very well.
I do have a very high intelligence quotient. That sucks too because other people expect me to be able to do and accomplish great things, but because of all the symptoms of sz I can’t do much of anything except make music by myself. I played bass guitar in a band in the 1990’s and that was a lot of fun. I was in more of a remission then. But I acted weird back then too, and my band-mates definitely knew it. They learned to love me for the kook I am. That was a long time ago. It’s the negative symptoms that are killing me now - I just can’t manage it anymore.
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Welcome to the board. I hope you feel better soon.
Take care.
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Hope you will enjoy the site and feel good support from the people here. 
Theres group homes too i think where one gets ones own private room but shares kitchen and living room and has day activities and meals are made for all residents.
I think these homes are for disabled people or mentally ill people that may be younger.
You seem too young to be in a nursing home in a way.
Isnt nursing home for people 75 + ?
Am I confusing the different types of homes…
Because you are so young i thought you might be better suited for a home for mentally ill people instead of a aged care nursing home where they are much older than you .
You could perhaps even meet a partner bf/gf and also make friends as well as have meals taken care of and be assisted and receive good help.
In such a home you could perhaps even play music with others and be a little active with people who also have various symptoms similar or different to yours but you might still be able connect with people there and make friends etc.
Hope you get good quality moments and care and living arrangements.
Thanks for your thoughtful response. I am looking at a particular nursing home that does take care of mentally ill younger people as well as older people. I have a friend who lives there who has spina bifida and some emotional problems too. I got a brochure that mentioned the psychiatric care that they offer. I took a tour of the place and it was very clean, didn’t smell bad at all - not even like a cleaner or anything to cover bad smells. The person giving the tour was the admissions director and she was very nice to me and my therapist who came with me. Everything looks right. My friend with spina bifida says the place isn’t the best but isn’t the worst either, but I know he’s hard to please. The place looked really nice. The people seemed happy - contented. It was peaceful there. I’m keeping my fingers crossed because I really want to be admitted there.
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I hope everything is ok with you. Welcome to the forum, we’re all here to support you
Welcome to the forums. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much, must be very scary. Hope you find the support you need here.
Good to read you have seen the place and have a friend there etc
What else do you have besides schizoafftect disorder? Incontinanance isn’t a symptom of sza disorder?