Getting older

I watched ‘Capone’ (2020) on Netflix last night with Tom Hardy

Got me a bit worried seeing what happened to that guys health by the age of 48 - which ended up killing him in his 48th year…

He had Neurosyphilis and he had dementia and was an absolute mess.

I found it hard to watch, as I was not sure when he was hallucinating or not, and the twisted sense of reality portrayed in the film I found a bit triggering.

It really got me thinking about the state of my mind, and the illnesses and medications I have to accept.

Got me wondering if I will go the same way eventually, and just lose it completely.

I don’t want to go like that. I’d rather be Euthanised


I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ll be 57 in eight days.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1985, and I’ve been on meds ever since. My body often hurts, and I might be losing some of my memory. I’m really struggling mentally since my mother died last December.

That said, I have to keep living. It’s less frequent, but I still have those moments that take my breath away. The thing is you have to look for those moments or you won’t see them.

I know it’s not easy, but try to be optimistic. Life is for the living, and death will take care of itself.


I am so sorry to hear this happened. :frowning:

Can only imagine the sense of loss for you

I hate how temporary/fragile life is.

My condolences


I know the feeling.
I feel like a lot of my cognitive ability is lost, and it seems like I’m bleeding my IQ out my ears. I was diagnosed in 1994, just a few days before I turned 19, and have been on meds ever since. My meds (the only ones that have ever worked for me) are now causing seizures, but this still outweighs the psychosis, so I stay on them. I lose words, and my memory is failing. Everything runs together and I can’t always remember what day it is.
And I was so smart! Now I really don’t have that anymore.
Struggling a lot lately. My dad died in November, and we were very close.
I’m less afraid, but more oblivious.
I get thoughts out of order now.

I’m trying to stay positive, but I need community and a little more help and support. During Covid it gets harder and harder, even though I wouldn’t say I’m a people person. For example, right now I can’t sleep. Tactile hallucinations are keeping me up, and I’m exhausted.

So sorry about your mom. I can now officially say, with deep empathy, that it sucks to lose a parent.

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