When I brought up my story about getting the porn movie AssBusters 2 stuck in my VCR and had to sheepishly bring it in for a repair.
And @77nick77 called Assbusters 2 the Citizen Kane of porn movies! 
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Yeah, that was a good one. The joke, not the movie, lol.
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They used to sell this lotion at the back pages of the porn magsā¦to make your johnson bigger.
The joke was, how come it never made your hand bigger? 
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Seeing as I think Iām going to get killed tomorrow, I asked my brother to clean up my room after Iām gone.
I donāt want my elderly Mom finding my porn cornerā¦AWKward MOment!
The doctor at Emergency last week said I seemed remarkably composed considering I felt millions of people wanted me dead.
I told him I was used to itā¦that it was my 5th psychotic global rodeo.
Each time I went crackers, I planted Easter Eggs around the town thinking I was going to be killed, or take my own life. I felt if I did some good deeds, the world would stop busting my balls and stop thinking I was evil.
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In some weird way, I feel my life is making sense to almost every song ever writtenā¦the good the bad and the insanityā¦with the exception of course of āYou Gotta Dance With Me Henryā.
I simply canāt listen to a song anymore without reading double/ triple meanings into it. This is my ādelusion of referenceā.
Iām glad your joking and feeling a little better nowā¦but it sounds like you still need a med adjustment. You wonāt be killed tomorrow and hopefully we will see you on the forum later tomorrow to prove it. Have a good night.
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I apologized to my twin girls last night.
Me: "Girls, Iām sorry Iām such a screw up.
Daughters: āWe love you Daddy and wouldnāt trade you for the world.ā
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I love children. I wrote this for my girls when they were born.
Go To Sleep
Go to sleep, for tomorrow will shine
And youāll always be mine
The world awaits your time
Go to sleep, tucked safe in your bed
Lay down your sweet head
May all your dreams be friends
Go to sleepā¦go to sleepā¦
And if you cry Iāll hear your call
I will be there to comfort you
For every mountain you will climb
Iāll always be right beside you
Thereās no need to worry
This promise I keep
Go to sleepā¦
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I really donāt care about my own fate. I just donāt want any heartache and sadness for a select few tomorrow.
Is there any way this could just be a silent win?
I was psychotic when I took those actions. I was trying to prove to the millions of people who I thought wanted me dead that I wasnāt evil.
I wasnāt thinking clearly about the fallout. Is there any way this could just be a silent victory? Or are we way too past that point?
Iām having a little bit of a hard time understanding you Patrick, but there arenāt millions of people that want you dead and no one is going to kill you tomorrow, so you can call that a victory when you make it through tomorrow I think.
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Patrick, you need to go inpatient.
Iām afraid youāre losing insight again.
Get immediate medical treatment,
Like tonight.
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Yeah bud millions of people donāt want you dead whereās your ration at?
Youāll be fine will hear from you tomorrow.
Yeah, when it comes to por* Iām pretty brilliant.