I smoked a lot of pot at uni. Am pretty sure if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have got the sz (obviously I don’t know for sure).
Anyway every so often my mum gets upset and blames my pot smoking for all the family stress that has happened since I got ill. This makes me feel real bad.
Anyone else have these feelings?
You might have been self medicating. I ‘blame’ cigarettes and feel guilty about them in the way you describe. But at the end of he day, the dice was loaded.
Yeah. Was definitely self medicating. My parents never understand this but to be honest it is hard to forgive if you have never been in that situation.
perosonally I don’t think cannabis causes sz. Personally I think it just triggers something that would have happened anyway.
You might have been prone to have sz, and the pot just triggered it. Maybe something else would have triggered it if it wasn’t pot. One way I heard it put was “genetics load the gun, and the environment pulls the trigger”.
No guilt. I had a problem, I got past it, and I’m vigilant to make sure I don’t head down that road a second time. I’m proud of having over two decades clean and sober, and also the fact that my wife and kid have never seen me drunk or stoned.
Pixel.
Ah I’ve got mixed feelings about it. I know back then I was having a blast for the most part. It was definitely part of the illness developing. Symptoms setting in while high. Delusional thinking started to stick, didn’t even question my world view.
I won’t be doing that ■■■■ again… ever. I have smoked since onset with mixed results, but really it aint worth it.
I don’t feel guilty. I’m very sorry that it’s affecting my relationship with my mom now, though.
Through the years my mom used to tell me how mad she was at my sister for lying to her as a teen-ager. I didn’t take sides but I thought, 'Wow, that’s too bad that my sister needed to lie so often". I overlooked the fact that I hid my extensive pot smoking for years and that I lied regularly about my whereabouts and who I hung out with. My mom finally found out about these things about ten years ago, and I know she is very angry with me for lying and she must be even more angry that I let her go on about my sisters lying while I was guilty of the same thing. I guess I feel a little guilt, but hey, what can I say? I was a stupid kid.
My siblings have smoked a lot. So I don’t really get guilted by my folks. I did for a while when I was just out of the hospital and hitting what was left of my stash. Wasn’t no good. Actually really sad to think about those times.
Anyways I quit. What else could they ask for at this point?
Not really. Its there, in my past. Something I used to do a lot, something that influenced my lifestyle a lot back then. But doesn’t have too much influence on me now anymore. Except for the schiz of course.
It depends on the situation… Just for smoking it… I don’t feel that guilty…
I do regret what I sometimes did while high… I do feel guilty for some of my actions…
What I really regret is what a violent… angry… toxic person I was when I drank heavily… all the time…
One of the things I have been doing since I came on board is to observe how often I see a statement more or less like this. I’d figured I would see this because the family systems dynamic was so evident among the psychotic spectrum pts I observed “en vivo.” (See The Genogram - GenoPro)
And, in fact, every time I was able interact with one of both parents – especially in tax-funded public health settings – I was able to see the “odd thinking” (at best) or outright sadistic verbal abuse (at worst). Virtually all of the psychotic pts who were not so owing to drug abuse at an early age (I just gabbed with one earlier this evening; his hippie parents had LSD blotter in the house, and he started lifting it when he was six) seem soaked with guilt, shame, worry, remorse, regret, confusion, moral conflict and/or paranoia that seems fully understandable given how they ultimately reported they were treated at their childhood homes.
I will say once again that I do not think that true sz is solely the result of such parental behavior (because the genetic pre-disposition for dopamine “hyper-reception” in the limbic system has to be there or the anti-P’s wouldn’t work). But it looks like sz is the result of that “nature” plus the unfortunate “nurture” in the family of orgin.
Interstingly, to me anyway, most of the Adult Children of Alcoholics / Dysfunctional Families 12 Step meetings I have attended are sprinkled with attendees presenting medicated-to-mild-level, psychotic features. Some therapists I know recommend ACA to their pts.
It’s not because of the cannabis!!! , stop blaming yourself , don’t listen to your mom , my mom blames me too for schizophrenia!!!
In my informed opinion the link between smoking cannabis and developing schizophrenia is quite obviously not causal (except for the possibility that it affects the age of onset a little). And if there was a causal link there would still be no way for you to accurately assess the risk. So I agree with others here, don’t blame yourself. Personally I think weed has helped me and still does, but that’s just me.