now this isn’t some sort of I’m going to kill myself message but I just woke up. my moms husband, who I despise very much, we have had some sort of stupid feud for a long time. I’ve never gotten along with him, I cannot stand him. he’s childish and controlling and I just have never accepted that he’s in my moms life. I simply act as if he isn’t standing in front of me. I talk badly about him to my mom, and I know he does the same about me. I’ve heard him belittle me and call me names and he’s just a ■■■■■■■ child. well today I wasn’t home most of the day, but I got home around 6ish and I actually forced myself to take a nap because I couldn’t stop eating. I’ve been eating so much. I’ve gotten so far off topic but I guess it’s just all my frustration coming out. ok ANYWAY
he left a note on the counter saying ‘for someone who just lays around all day at home, you’d think you could empty the dish washer or something’ and the funny thing is, when I got home I made a point to check if it was clean; the light wasn’t on so I didn’t touch it. I do empty the dishwasher, I clean the bathroom, I vacuum, I dust, I do a lot of ■■■■ around the house… because my mom pays me for it. but this ONE TIME that I didn’t do it, he had to be a child and leave a note on the counter.
I just hate this. I left a note back, knowing he’s in bed and my mom will get home from work and see them both, and told her to just get rid of the car she got me. I don’t ■■■■■■■ want it. I don’t want a job. I don’t want anything. Everything feels so wrong. I’m just more paranoid and also so careless about everything. I wish I could just disappear and it would be like I was never here.
You sound tense… Well more than tense.
The home situations can be very tough to deal with. It’s good you got all that out there.
Someday you’ll be living on your own. It’s not a quick step out of the house and I’m sure you’ll go through a slew of roomates you won’t totally get along with… But someday you’ll be in a position to be on your own and away from crap like that. Keep up hope and do what you can to prepare yourself for it.
Sucks to hear that you gotta deal with this right now. I have a friend in a similar position.
that just seems so impossible. I don’t picture myself ever being stable. I don’t know how it’d be possible. and whenever I feel I’m heading in the right direction, I throw myself back into the same position I’ve been in for how long. I’ll be 18 in about 7 months, and after that I don’t know what I’ll do.
Best move I ever made was leaving the family house. I had to get help to move into somewhat emergency accommodation with the help of my case worker but was well worth it in the end. If he is a total tool at least your not there for him to blame it all on you. Your mum will eventually see him for who he really is. All you can really control is yourself although with the illness it is problem as a unknown factor but your not alone in dealing with that one. How much that does define your life is up to you really on that one though.