I am getting “better” I guess. But I feel absolutely crappy about my behavior. I am not one to flirt. That’s not me. So I can’t explain it better than thinking of myself as a w—e and a s–t. I have only ever had one relationship in my 32 or so years (if you can even call it one, it lasted two months and barely any intamacy)… I have gotten myself into shitty situations on dating apps and I am glad I just came out of it being “flirty”… I felt safe here. But I know I have bothered many users… Pointing out to me it was a forum and not a dating site at the time when I was ill wouldn’t have made a difference, I was simply having fun and what is flirting to some isn’t that to me… it was fun…
Sometimes I feel is it me who wants a relationship or my manic self…
hey…don’t put pressure on yourself. Most relationships that are worthwhile develop out of friends or family and are unexpected.
You have a disorder that makes you question stuff…you just don’t need to question yourself. Trust yourself and be honest and most relationships will move from there.
It’s a journey. I didn’t get married till I was medicated and 31 years old. I couldn’t have done that before the medications so there’s no stress. Keep cool and keep relaxed…things will happen if your getting out there etc!
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What I am trying to say is, I am not sure a relationship is what I am looking for… I don’t need the stress. But when I get manic, if that is what it is… I seem to want relationships and invite idiots from the internet…
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The good thing is I see them once and then I quickly get their idiots.
It’s a balancing act. Internet dating is different from what it was in the noughties! lots of creeps…Aren’t we all looking for a decent relationship? I’m 47…I’m divorced but a companion is something I still wonder about. It’s problematic for a guy who lives with their parents but you still hold out hope.
Symptoms make you feel certain ways. Learn your cues and act from there…don’t go looking for dates when your manic! That is a bad idea…meanwhile keep yourself open for decent relationships with other folk…
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mania can make you have reckless sexual behaviour.
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I am kind of similar although I like to think I have learnt from my mistakes.
Worst situation I ended up in- I was 15 and he was 52. 52!!! Luckily, I never met up with him even though he wanted to.
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You’re too hard on yourself, @anon80629714
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You don’t need a relationship yet, ish.
Try to get yourself to a place where you are more content with yourself and how your life is going, then steadily move forward with that. You’ll appreciate the difference from how you feel now. Relationships can be complicated and very stressful as you negotiate another person’s whims and ideas about things that may not match your own.
You probably don’t need that kind of extra pressure right now. Be well, eat healthily and continue to make progress as you are doing - one step at a time. Soon you will be happier and won’t need this site anymore. Believe me when I say that because you will get over your mental illness. Take care of yourself first!
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I am not looking to be honest. Learned to like my own company… I go cinema on my own, shopping on my own… gutted about cancelling the holiday but I would have gone on my own. But I guess I need to work on my health, learn my triggers.
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Ish maybe I’m getting the same way in regards to thinking about relationships a lot. I actually can’t stop thinking about someone that is very sweet to me that I can’t be with and I don’t think likes me that way. Actually I really don’t know.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t be careful, but a lot of what you’ve described on here at different times describes what a lot of young women might say.
So I agree with what freakonaleash said, you’re being too hard on yourself.
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Well, I didn’t see you do anything wrong to be honest 
I wouldn’t be so hard on yourself.
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Sweetheart… It’s not you.
These days I’m asexual and I feel like that’s a bonus.
But you should not blame yourself. Just try to act in a way that does not hurt yourself or others and you will be doing better than most.
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Even though I didn’t see it as flirting I was talking to several guys on here and I wasn’t serious but I question my character 
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In the end, talk is just talk.
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