My mind is really playing tricks on me this morning.
This is what I have awoken to today
They’re really messing with me and I don’t like it
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Welcome in hell.
Do you have a prn you can take?
I am refusing to take it
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What’s going on? Is it anxiety??
My head was being pulled around a lot. Psychotic symptoms. The diazepam might calm me, but not worth the risk for addiction
Can’t keep having this
Feel a bit better now
But when I woke up it was two hours of hell
I hope that doesn’t happen again
Seriously messed up
Was more of an attack in my head, and full weight thrown behind it
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It’s good that you are restrictive with diazepam.
Perhaps it’s a good idea to increase the olanzapine.
I take 20mg before bedtime. Don’t have any symptoms in the morning except for voices.
The voices are constant and no med had helped with that.
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No one has got back to me about the High Dose Antipsychotic Treatment (HDAT) that I spoke about
Really need the doctors help but I might have to wait a few months for an appointment with him 
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Yeah, don’t tamper with your meds without the doctors supervision.
It’s good if you call them tomorrow and ask for an appointment.
Stay strong @joker. I know you are struggling. I hope you feel better soon.
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I won’t @Speedy I won’t mess with them like I have been
Will leave it until an appointment comes up
Thank you
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It keeps telling me to not see my parents anymore
When I saw them this morning they were all so quiet
I asked if they were both hungover and they said no
So why all quiet and let me do all the talking?
I am supposed to be the one with comms issues not them
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I think you’re being overly demanding. People aren’t always happy and talkative. Let them be however they feel like.
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What’s the point in seeing each other for a coffee out if everyone is just mute?
If my step father was with a complete stranger down the pub he wouldn’t shut up
But with me and my mother like trying to draw blood from a stone sometimes
All I did was ask if they were hungover, as they were being very quiet and I didn’t know how much they drank last night
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Sometimes you can enjoy the presence of others without talking too much. They shouldn’t feel forced to talk if they don’t feel like it.
So just sit there and say nothing? I don’t understand.
I am not doing it anymore, as it upsets me
Fair enough I have to let them feel c comfortable but I also need to as well, and I am not in their company any longer
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You’re going to ban 2 of your parents and best friends out of your life because they don’t feel talkative 1 morning. I’m afraid I don’t understand that.
It has been an ongoing thing actually
I feel like they’re just seeing me out of a sense of obligation and that’s not fair on them, and I won’t be involved with people on that basis
Had this with people before, where they just pay lip service and then that’s it
Sick of this ■■■■■■■ ■■■■
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I hope you get in a better headspace soon. To be in hell can bring out the worst in us.
@Joker Take the prn. Using it here and there isn’t going to make you addicted. You have it for a reason. That reason is currently staring you in the face.
Think critically about this. Addiction to that drug takes abusing it. You are not going to be abusing it if you take even less than directed. You will be fine.
Right now you’re allowing yourself to suffer needlessly.
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It’s a crutch and I got so far without it
Nearly 4 days
But I couldn’t speak tot he doctor
They just wanted the tests and HDAT, and I asked why but never got a call.
Might do next week and we can sort this out
Even just an appointment in the dairy would give some hope
How can I let go of the progress of nearly 4 days without it.
Would have made the torture pointless if I give in now
Surely just a couple more days and it should settle