Family troubles

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I asked my mom if I could go out to meet my friend in this city. I live in another city, which is about 30 minutes away and I’m eligible for para-taxi. My friend and I decided to meet there together, so I told my mom that I will go there to meet her. It was a perfect plan because she has a meeting with another person at 4pm with another person, so she didn’t have to go anywhere else.

My mom told me I can’t go, so I lied to her saying that we are meeting nearby by my house. She kept telling me that I have lost her trust and my friend is a complete brat/selfish person. She keeps telling me that me lying to her is degrading her trust with me, and she banned the trip from me and told me that I was grounded because she was going to meet with a friend.

The reason why I lie is simple: I’m absolutely, terrified of her. I’m terrified that she will restrict me even more and prevent me from doing things independently. When I was younger, I would get beaten or be yelled at constantly if I lied to her or if I did something without her consent. Because this pattern has continued, I’m absolutely scared of her and terrified of her. So I keep lying…because I worry that being truthful will prevent me from doing things that I want/need to do.

How do I deal with this situation? I just want to do things more independently, despite having a disability.

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The thing that strikes me is that the normal thing for your mother to do would be for her to encourage you to be more independent and to visit friends. Doesn’t she want the best for you? I’m sorry, I forget but is your dad still alive or does another relative live in the house that would stick up for you and help you deal with your mom? I don’t know what the solution is. It’s a bad situation where you are almost forced to lie but you are terrified of your mother if you get caught. It doesn’t sound like the best relationship.

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thats a tough situation.
i know i would find a way out.
if you are financially trapped, and shes that controlling.
can she really hurt you physically as an adult still?

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Can you get your own place? Maybe a room in a student dorm, since you’re still a student?

At my alma mater there were special dorms for disabled students and other students would help them out as volunteers.

I don’t know if something like that exists in South Korea.

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