Does your SA stretch to interactions with family especially ones you don’t see very often?
My father and stepmother are due over from the USA for their roughly annual visit in a few days and already I’m feeling nervous as to what they’ll think and how they might judge me. Going through my brain is ‘you’re the odd ball , loser of an eldest son living in a place that you can scarcely keep clean and tidy’.
Even worse is that my dad is planning a second visit a few days later to introduce me to the step brother and his family that I have never met, and I’m worrying myself silly as to what they’ll think and how I’ll come over to them. Also being on my own so much has only worsened my ability re knowing how to act and be in social situations.
I guess there’s a lot of self stigmatisation going on. I feel I’m a dysfunctional freak /social misfit and fear others feel the same about me.
I think most people would have some trepidation in that situation even without a mental disorder. Probably the best thing to do is try to keep busy to stop your mind focussing on it.
yeah i have safe people and not so safe people in my family people with social anxiety are too hard on themselves imo. so they go through anxiety provking social situation but afterwards they beat themselves up for it and cringe i do this what we need to work on is talking kindly to ourselves more like that was really hard for you good on you its not very british tho to toot your own horn tho is it LOL
you can’t help what they think
you can only help what you think
I hope you can get out of these feelings
try to enjoy it
I hate self stigma - i’ve just spent a week completely floored by it
you can feel better. i hope you do soon
Sounds like your dad realizes how socially isolated you are and has plans to help you as much as he can! I think he’s trying to connect you to a bit of a network. And a network always starts with a single node. In fact you already have a link with your stepdaughter, who obviously cares about you, so your network is building nicely. Don’t worry about how you behave, etc. And the ‘success’ thing is a complete red herring. It never has any influence on how much people like you. By the time we’re fifty, most of us have failed to some degree or an extreme degree in most things. That’s the God’s honest truth, and it’s why most people get kinder and nicer as they get older.
Hatty just spoke some truth here…I agree.
Just be yourself-take some downtime when you need to. I am sure your family will understand-and the new ones will love you.
I remember that you were talking about whether or not you should move into another place to be around people more.
Well, I think your intentions were correct and now it is happening…slowly, but surely.
Good luck Firemonkey OO
I think that how you are feeling is normal, under the circumstances @firemonkey. Make the best of it, I am sure things will go well. I am anxious around certain family members and at get togethers. I really think that anxiety is a big part of my disorder
I’m sure you’ll do fine @firemonkey. You are getting some more family and though it is a challenge, they are probably nervous about it too. I had to add people to my family when I was young. I was not to thrilled about it. You are more seasoned and they will look up to you as someone with unique life experiences who can advise them in life.