Makes me think of intro verus extropunitive styles of…whatever.
I am intropunitive but when people just ■■■■ up I call them out. I am nice but damn when people ■■■■ up when I do everything correctly, I don’t like it.
I am a masochist. Like seriously. When I feel uh bad or nuts or angry or whatever, I take it out on myself. All of my shrinks have told me this. Intropunitive. I hate myself and when I write in my journal I write to myself and say hateful things.
I guess it beats breaking the nearest person’s neck.
A person with schiz in most cases begin an exercise to dissacosiate themselves from psychotic states because those states tend to be punitive in nature; essentially they are vulnerable to any spiel that will heal them or make themselves better.
People with schiz can become suckers for anything that remotely sounds transformative , and they are racked by guilt and self punish when they feel they dont measure up to self improvement mantras whether said mantras are real , interpreted , imagined or whatever.
You read like someone who does not have schiz , I can tell from your writings you are clearly not schizophrenic but accept that you have suffered psychosis.