The Power of Psychosis
Why are so many people with psychotic experiences unable to relieve their symptoms without powerful anti-psychotic medication? What leads someone to seek help for psychosis? Is psychosis a spiritual, creative, social phenomena or purely the result of biological imbalances and/or messed up genes? What is the difference between brief psychosis and chronic psychosis schizophrenia? What determines the difference? What causes psychosis?
Relating Individual Experiences
It must’ve started with a break down, but was it a slow breakdown or a radical shift? Whatever sparked it, it changed me. The wall of bricks that tumbled over and exposed a harsh light, that was my psychosis.
Word or Theme I attach to my Psychosis:
Survival
I saw fear in their eyes, as if they believed that I had actually seen the inner workings of reality.I knew I had not, that time, seen or recalled anything but fears that billowed over me as I walked the miles alone on that barren road. I walked to a house, believing that no one was there. The voice in my head told me to lay on the bench, and rest.
Then I walked almost 15 miles until I realized that I was foolish. Shut up in a hospital that denies experience and alternative views, it does little to put context to experience.
Leaving most of us “schizophrenic” ones fragmented, on the verge of existence, on the cusp of awareness.
Choices
Most do not choose to experience a psychotic break.
Psychosis does not, however, always affect reason. The hallucinations might be real, in the sense, they exist in their own space. If more were to believe us lunatics we might see the nature of this oppressed insight.
Dark Night of the Soul
We’ve all experienced this at least once during the beginning stages of psychosis and schizophrenia. It is like falling through endless space. It is a break down of the self, it can cleanse us of all previous beliefs, our self identities,
Visiting doctors denied our experiences. They told us we were delusional, had fictitious religious beliefs. Thought we were special.
I told the psychiatrist I was special, not that I believed it but I knew it.
What causes us to continue to suffer in schizophrenia?
Well first off, psychiatry perpetuates certain beliefs about it!
Secondly, our experiences are too profound for us to deny!
Third? Maybe it’s better to be insane in a crazy world and we choose to remain schizophrenic regardless of how society sees us.