I should avoid some memories I had while I had erotomania. They trigger my erotomania. I am not diagnosed with mania but I feel like I had it off meds and on low dose meds. Off meds I used to fall in love with random strangers sometimes I never met them like a popular spanish singer. I got dreams I was married to that popular singer etc eventhough I had a gf back then.
Sometimes it was my teachers even in university so its not puberty and hormones. I read that erotomania is more common in sz. Looking back at myself off meds I feel like I was a creep sometimes but sometimes the other party had feelings for me too but mine were from the disease and not real so it was a disaster. I felt like I am forcing it instead of being my true self.
My mind was torturring me as I had a gf back then and I felt like I was cheating on her mentally. Sometimes I felt like even the only gf I had so far was just my erotomania and not real love. I was unmedicated and had prodromal sz back then. I felt like I was living in a dream when unmedicated. She was in love with me but I wasn’t really. I was just trying to escape from her. Finally I got sz and she left me.
Yes because now with sz I am disabled, I stay most of the time in bed. Sometimes I think it has to do with childhood sexual abuse but my parents think its the sz.
I mean yes it was a good decision that she left me because of sz as I quit university and was unable to hold a job. I wasn’t on disability back then. I had no money and I socially isolated left all my friends etc and was staying at home all day. She called me a big baby and that I became boring to her.
Its awful that you went through all of that and the sexual abuse that would be horrendous
We all have our demons here idk
Im just trying my best same as everyone else, i stay home mostly and struggle.
Its 4.40am here England and looks like im up all night again wide awake ugh
Take care @Aziz
I get the feeling from time to time that someone likes me. Or at least is interested in me. It is pretty annoying feeling as I can’t be sure really.
But still the feeling is there… Erotomania I suppose.
I hate pcos. It means I have excess hair as a woman and although I’m in treatment for ‘permanent’ removal of a substantial amount, I still have peach fuzz on my face plus other un changeable insecurities.
I will never be the ideal looking woman
But some men don’t know that cos they haven’t seen me properly.
And then I feel they may like me.
But it’s not the end of the world, as I have an amazing heart and that counts for something.
I just sometimes feel I look like a freak.
And I fear that all my excess hair will one day suddenly grow back. And for some reason such as money, I can’t get it removed.
But I have to have faith in science the understanding of how pcos is caused and hope it is up to date.
So that I can feel hopeful enough that I won’t get excess hair all over again.
I even had a hairy ass and a beard. Do you know how traumatic that is for a woman like me
Anyway, my conclusion, yes I feel I have erotomania but I think the reality is that by logic it is not real, simply because I don’t want it to be. Lols