Had an episode last night. I had been feeling very subdued, not depressed really, but quiet inside, like I didn’t want to talk. Blank.
Then at night, around 21:30 or so, whilst I was reading, these aggressive violent feelings came up. The evil spirit Alien was at work, messing up my mind, manipulating me. Wrote in my journal over and over in huge capitals KILL! KILL! F***ER! DIE! DIE! etc. Covered two or three pages with this violent words.
Then a few minutes later I got up and held knife against my arm. Then put it away.
Then I started talking absolute foreign gibberish and laughing. To my ears it was nonstop like I was talking in a foreign language, it poured out of me like water. This went on for about 15-20 mins, then I landed up on the floor. By then I had taken my Seroquel and started feeling sedated and talked softer and softer until I went quiet. Got up and went to bed.
Is this psychosis or what? This morning I feel ok again. It was like a dream.