I feel emotionally flattened due to the sz… almost completely empty inside. The last emotion I had was rage, but that has since past. I don’t like it that I don’t feel anything anymore, it also makes me at risk for self-harming and I don’t want to go there.
Feeling empty and lonely, but want to be alone, but not lonely. Getting a wave of depression now and I hope I will make it through this time. The meds make me want to take risks, and I feel I need to fill a void that is bottomless.
Coping with this is difficult right now…
Sometimes I miss the minor psychosis (not the major episodes), as everything made sense without making sense. But more immersed within myself. It made sense on its own, but when its gone there is this emptiness again.
If you’re not on Abilify, you could try a supplement called “NAC”. It has good science behind it for negative symptoms.
It seems to interact with Abilify though, so don’t take it if you’re on Abilify.
i dont like emotions so i m good with this flat thing. i like it. emotion is antagonist to reason. i prefer reason to emotions. i consider emotions to be a weakness. plus emotions make you make bad decisions.
I get this too, and can identify with urges to self harm because of needing to feel something.
I do miss the minor psychosis sometimes… because on meds I realized my theories were probably wrong, but I was certain they were correct. Which makes me depressed, because I thought I discovered something… I still believe they are correct but I cannot discuss them with others. I wish the hallucinations would vanish, and keep my magical thinking (they call it psychosis, but I don’t agree). and want some emotions back. But I am wanting…
Have to say - having positive symptoms manageable - brings out being emotionless, apathy and negative symptoms to the forefront.
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