My dad was mad over something and that threw me into an anxiety attack last night. I am so embarrassed. I contacted the suicide hotline but I wasn’t even suicidal I was just desperate to talk to someone and no one was around. Their online chat didn’t respond so then I called my school’s acute psychiatric services who were very curt with me and then transferred me to another help line. The lady there was nice but I could tell she was a little overwhelmed by my issues and wasn’t sure what to do about me. Still talking calmed me down and cleared my head. I was also frantically contacting my friend and therapist saying I was sick of life and wanted to die. It was just an anxiety attack and when it passed I was SO EMBARASSED and am still so embarrassed I went crazy like that. Ahhh.
You know.
I’ve embarrassed myself so much I’ve come to the point of just being able to shrug it off and go on. I once lost my mind and thought I’d found a prehistoric tar pit (which would be a first for my entire region) in the woods behind my parents house. I spent four days taking these tar samples into the basement and comparing them to pictures of natural tar on the internet and running all kinds of non scientific experiements and almost sent an email to the state university.
When I realized someone had simply dumped a bunch of unused asphalt back in the woods I was pretty damn embarrassed. I had been obsessed with this for days. Hell my stays in the hospital have been embarrassing, going to the ER as a mental patient being accompanied by you’re parents in you’re 30’s. That’s embarrassment.
I’m a rather self conscious person as it is, like I’ve alwyas found standing in line at the grocery store and interaacting with the cashier embarrassing. But when it comes to something really embarrassing I tend to just shrug and move on, nothing you can do but move on and not dwell on it.
there is a website called 7cupsoftea i dont know if youve ever heard of it but you can search profiles and talk to volunteer counselors for free 1 on 1 there are also free therapy guided group chatrooms for depression panic disorders exc. right now its just chatting through text right now but they are planning to add voice soon to make chats easier but you can always get a hold of someone for free to talk you through whatever your going through www.7cupsoftea.com
You don’t need to be embarassed, it happens, you had a small crisis and then you went to seek help for it. It’s all good, hope you’re feeling better today.
Its ok Anna. It could’ve been much worse. Don’t feel bad
Don’t feel embrased, @Anna. It is your natural reaction for bad thing.
No need to be embarrassed, I completely agree with what Minnii said.