Drifter was a dog I had from the age of 16 that lived with my parents until I was around 30. We bought Drifter from a family who was reselling him as a failed show-dog, as he was a pure bred Shetland Sheepdog. They gave a cock-and-bull story as to the reason why they weren’t keeping him, but we soon found out why. He was 6 months old when we got him and I sat with my dad as he watched dog training videos from the library. One part I remember was determining the personality of the dog. There were 6 types: one was affectionate, one was aggressive, one was passive or something, some I forget, and one was nervous/ neurotic. You can guess the type Drifter was: Nervous/ Neurotic. The personality test the video gave was to move the dog’s feeding dish with a broom: if the dog barked, attacked, did nothing or ran away etc. determined the personality. He ran away: he was nervous. He was a good dog in many ways, but one thing he did was run around barking for a long time when someone left the house. That was his herding instinct gone awry, we reasoned.
As my MI progressed over the years I would think about Drifter kind of like myself. He was distant with others, but he could be friendly when he wanted something. He had a nervous system problem of some kind that made him nervous/ neurotic, that made him act in ways that inconvenienced others. So I for a time looked at sz kind of like that, not as a personality type per se, but that sz was some analog of the herding instinct in Drifter, a nervous dysfunction of some element at the core of our nature whatever that is. I mentioned before in another post that I had an idea the paranoia was the result of living in human systems, so I guess that idea was inspired by Drifter. That Drifter’s psycho-genetics was adapted to live in human agricultural systems, and that maybe my psycho-genetics was adapted to some system that my ancestors survived but is at a point of nervous dysfunction. Drifter died by injection around the time my psychosis was treated by injection, so I guess there is some poetry in that ending of nervousness no matter the cause.
I remember the day he was brought to us to see if we were a good fit. He jumped up and licked my face. Then soon afterwards he developed a hatred for me and my friends. We played music in the basement and he would go after us in the house upstairs or in the yard. I tried to develop a relationship like we should have had. He felt conflicted when I sat down and pet him in the den. He whined. What I believe is that he saw the annymosity between my father and I, he was very loyal to my father, and freaked out seeing me and my friends as enemies of my father. We were kind of wild and it gave my father a hard time. We eventually had to give him back to the breeder. It broke my fathers heart. I still feel guilty about not going for walks with the two of them. He tore the pants off many of us back then. Right off us.
Still a sad memory. I know it’s still sad for my father as well. I’m not sure what could have healed that relationship.
Thanks for sharing. Dogs have a social/ pack system of their own, so you are probably right that the dog followed the pack leader and looked at you like an interloper in the pack or however dogs look at things. Shetland Sheepdogs are bred to work alone, but some sheepdogs are bred to be loyal to a Shepherd and manages a flock. It’s possible your dog was extremely well bred to work with a Shepherd but was aggressive with others in the pack / flock.
Related to this idea of human instincts, which are an irrational factor in behavior btw, if sz is a nervous condition affecting instinct that humans develop from living in human societies/ systems then that would be more profound than just the simple chemical imbalance model treated my medicine that is conventional. It manifests controllably it seems, in most cases, as chemical imbalance but I would be interested in the connection between a dysfunctional amount of nervousness and instinct that would cause paranoia and other symptoms. I have no real starting point for thinking about it, but shepherd dogs are an interesting subject because they have instincts related to the management of a flock/ pack. In human societies the management of herd is a much opined topic from Plato to Foucault and other pomos. If sz is related to instincts related to herd management, for example the way surveillance controls behavior, or the way people think and talk about you defines yourself and your actions, among other things, then maybe humans have a set of instincts that go awry in extreme nervousness or psychosis.
Thanks for sharing that - you express a lot of philosophy + your personal history.
You talk alot about thinking about SZ and society. Do you also agree with SZ being part of the Neurodiversity / Neurominorities in society led by autism/dyslexia/etc. or you have theories beyond this?
Neurodiversity is not a concept Ive thought much about. Whatever the nature of sz it’s probably a good thing to consider it part of the diversity of society. For one thing there is sort of a sz essence in society that is not pathological that is related to individualist / reality detachment/ economic nonparticipation etc. This is the sort of essence refered to in Capitalism and Schizophrenia, so accepting neurodiversity is likely the only way even though sz as a pathology is treated by medicine. As I’ve alluded to in other topics the irrational force of indirect reality, call it irony if you want, basically represents the sz essence in society and this is balanced against the normative analogousness of conformity to State philosophy that is seen in normies. That’s not my idea but my interpretation from readings of Capitalism and Schizophrenia and related work.
