I still think about my high school bullies that bullied me every day through high school. i had no friends and i had to be with someone so i chose them and they bullied me eveery day, drew pictures of ■■■■ saying it was a caricature of me, i dont know why i stayed friends with them. i tried to be friends with other people, but they bullied me too. i still think of this stuff when im 27.
i dont know how to stop ruminating. maybe making friends and having new experiences could help me, but i dont have any friends now and dont know how to make any, and new experiences well i dont have any money…im just so tired of being miserable
I ruminate a lot too. When I was at college the people on my floor in the dorms constantly hung around outside my door, running me down. One girl was particularly bad. People might say, “That was thirty years ago. Get over it.” Well, they’re still holding something I did twenty-five years ago against me. At one point they were actually telling me to commit suicide. It scared the ■■■■ out of me. I don’t feel bad about anything that happens to those people. They crossed barrier after barrier that never should have been crossed.
I guess what i would do is write down a step by step plan of what you want to do and acheive. Make sure they are small steps at first. And maybe try to shift your focus on the present and the near future instead of reliving the past in your mind all the time. Maybe try a therapist too?
There was one guy who bullied me in Junior High. One day he just punched me in the gut while passing by in the hallway. There was a special school for delinquents and thinking back that is where he belonged. I dont know how he managed to stay in the public school system. One day in class he had a diabetic needle poker and was going around poking at everyone.
Nah, I used to but I learned to let stuff go. Why let people from the past have power over you today? Use that energy to do fun things instead. Therapy is your friend.
I did used to ruminate so badly that I couldn’t partake in conversations that were happening in the here and now. My sister would complain that I was checked out all the time. I would say I’m busy. Busy thinking. Well I was ruminating. I was so busy processing past events that I was missing the current moment.
A few things happened to give me some relief. I completed 2 years of weekly therapy where I focused on me and my place in my life. After therapy I continued the work and still continue and always will. I made some important changes to my life which included divorce. I made huge strides in recovery from PTSD and put that crap down. And I was put on a very effective ad Cymbalta which really helps with anxiety and therefore ruminations.
The things that helped me may differ from what helps you. But the thing here to learn is it can be helped if you try different things and keep trying until you get relief. Btw, I have OCD and it’s amazing to get relief from ruminations with this affliction.
I did the same. I was friends with a s s- holes that treated me like garbage. When I switched friends it happened to me again. I used to ruminate a lot. It felt like they took something from me. My confidence, my joy from life etc. I don’t have any advice to give you about rumination except it’s a habit. Try to stop that habit and create new ones. If you are stuck in your mind you need something from outside to stop thinking. Is there something you can focus on? Like reading? Doing something with your computer etc?
You look like a cool dude and I think they were jealous of you! I don’t know how to make friends, I’m mostly isolated myself. You are still young so you have some time to realize that you have power inside of you.
I never ruminate…don’t know how tho or why i don’t. Probably cause my memory is terrible, i have lost my feelings of guilt and shame, and my head is filled with worries about possibilties of the present and near future.
I ruminate quite a lot. I’m still quite affected by the bullying that mostly happened nearly 50 years ago. A situation helped by not talking about it with pdocs and other MH professionals(till recently) due to ‘It wasn’t physical/sexual abuse so therefore mild’ thinking and not being listened to about other matters.
I would ruminate about negative past experiences too. It has never gotten me anywhere.
Eventually, I opened up to friends about stuff that was weighing heavily on my heart.
It really helped.
Dunno if my sz is trauma-based or came to be through some other mechanism, genes and whatnot.
But talk therapy did work for me, except I did it with friends and even a few distant acquaintances, not with a trained counselor.
After a while, my need to complain visibly diminished.
So bottom line, don’t hold it in folks. Stop saying “I would complain, but nobody listens”. Do it anyway. Some will listen, some won’t. You’ll still get stuff off your chest.
But do it with the thought of recovery in mind. Be mean if you need to. Cry if you can’t help it. Call people names, swear and cuss. Don’t pussyfoot.
Its a part of life, natural to ruminate some do more than others but if you’ve no money to go out and live off then you need either benefits or a job depending on your situation, so go get support finding a job or whatever