I’ve been at my work for a while now. But ever since I started working, I could feel the effects of the stigma since day one. Every day I show up to work, I can feel the complete hate and putrid disgust thrown at me every day. I keep showing up to work despite of it (you could say this makes me insufferable). But I don’t want to live off the government (out of pride). I really can’t keep doing it though. People at my work really hate me. And it is a huge problem, because the ability to socialize is obviously a skill that is required in working (unless you have a job that is completely on your own). My ego can’t take being hated on every day, but it also can’t take living off government assistance. I’m in sh*ts creek.
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Why are other peoples opinion of you this important? Youre only there to get a paycheck
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People hate you for your disability? Get a job somewhere else where there are kinder people. You must be working with some bad people, unless there is some social misunderstanding you have failed to rectify.
I can’t do the back and forth either I can’t socialize. But I work with one guy cleaning apartments or I work alone. But going to head office is brutal. Some cognitive brain damage might have something to do with it too.
…I mean… that’s the definition of stigma for this illness
People at work seem pleasant too me though. Everyone know I’m disabled. I’m sure they all talk at head office and know I have schizophrenia. I had to say something else because I was really struggling. But I don’t want to say I have brain damage. I just said I struggle with processing. Some of them just don’t like disability. But the girls are nice to me
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the girls are nice to you? Hmm… Girls at my work tend to glare at me. Well most people glare at me.
My employer knows I have both autism and SZ. I have gotten two major promotions in the past six years and I have gotten a raise every year. I got two raises last year, both of them significant. If this is stigma against SZ, I like it and I want more. If you are doing your job well you should be okay.
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Are you 100% sure you’re not just being paranoid or imagining the hate?
Us schizophrenics tend to imagine hostile situations when there are none.
I’m not trying to belittle your experience, I just think you should explore the possibility that it’s just paranoia
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I just means some bubbly happy girls that talk alot. Lol
There is the possibility that some of the hate is imagined, sure. But I am positive that some people at my work just don’t like me. I’ve seen them roll their eyes at me. Avoid eye contact with me. Complete dismissal of my existence, etc. I know some people at my work are indifferent to me. But that also doesn’t help when I’m in a social mood, and I look around, and no one is willing to engage in conversation with me. There are a few people at work that are nice to me. Actually a couple of them do it out of pity or whatever. One lady is genuinely nice to me, and honestly, I think because she understands the unfairness of my condition, and it doesn’t seem she is nice in a demeaning way. But if only more people were like her.
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Are you as negative at work as you are here? People who are only ever negative in their interactions with others become toxic to their health. I have to avoid people who are always negative as they impact my own health. Dealing with them burns me out.
Yes. I’m always negative. You can avoid me.
Lol. Thats funny. I used to be negative 24 seven. I’ve chilled lately though
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I try and be positive, I really do. But it just seems everything about my life is unbearable. But hopefully I can see the light soon or something, cause Idk man. I really don’t know what to do. (That’s good though that you’ve found the ability to chill out).
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I’ve just improved a little. I know how to not feel brain damage. So a least I’m not completely damaged
That’s good. Have you done anything to improve your functioning? Or are you just more at acceptance with it?
Congratulations on being able to stick to a job for a while. You beat me. I can’t handle the stress and tension.
Just spending time walking around. And eating good. Healthy stuff. I’ve healed I’m getting used to invega. It when I use my brain or hear explanations. And stuff. So it looks like to enjoy my life. This is it. No heavy interactions
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I see… Hmm. Well that’s good. I will start exercising, but I have doubts it will actually help. Also, I have to go outside to exercise, and anywhere I go, I face the scrutiny of others. But perhaps I will just embrace it, just like I do when I go to work.