Thank you all. I deeply appreciate the welcome. First off, I haven’t officially been diagnosed, I just called the psychiatrist and I will be telling him my symptoms. I have some more questions. I say things aloud without meaning to or hearing myself say them. I have recordings of myself and it was a long ordeal finding this out. I’ve had a couple of moments in public where I’ve said things like “OH, LOOK AT THE CRAZY GUY WHO CAN’T CONTROL HIS SPEECH! ISN’T IT FUNNY? WHY AREN’T YOU LAUGHING?!?!” I’ve said mean things to people of colour even though I’m not racist. I’ve said homophobic things even though I’m pansexual. I’ve said horrible things to my friends and the voices have said mean things through my mouth as well I think. I hate this and I just want it to go away so I can be a normal human being who has full control over his speech. Has anyone else dealt with this? Does medication help? They’re straight up intrusive thoughts and they talk to my voices or at least they started today, does this make them voices or what the ■■■■ is happening in my brain.
To me, no words are coming out and I can’t feel my mouth moving, It sucks when intrusive thoughts are being said aloud because I don’t mean them, but to everyone else I’m just saying them. I feel like they don’t believe I can’t hear or feel them and it doesn’t help that I have said I do feel and hear them at times which has severely pissed me off because I don’t aside from hearing them three times and feeling them a bunch but not hearing anything come out. With my old roommates, I was shouting out “Tell him he talks and (I don’t remember if it said he or I at that point) will kill you” That is one of the only things I could actually hear at that point.