So this is my case now…
Am going out more now, am trying to regain in reason and wisdom by following some philosophy, positivism and hope, but the thing is that i turn way too excited per moments too…
I was isolated and sedentary for ling before… so now, the lufe outside excites me , am having more hope too, but the thing is that overexcitement is painful still… 
My mind is sick then, i feel even a clamp like inside my head and am paranoid… i felt overexcited even, when sitting on my couch here…
Yes, my explanation is, that it happens cause i am discovering the lufe again, but tbh, yhis still feels like a sick symptom… i cant think even well then…
Someone here understands this state? Maybe its the natural way on the path to the stabilization or not really? 
Can you relate? I wonder if i should be worried by that, my hope is that itll pass too around my efforts and the meds…
For the rest, i am not prone to manias at all, its not that… i remain mentally low and in pain, even when excited… Just know, that i am motorically excited too when it happens lol…
Tell me if this happens in sz… maybe its natural to come now, cause i force myself now to feel the most as i can,but sheesh, its tiring and painful too… my pdoc is not worried about it. Maybe he knows, that i was a dead soul before… i just wonder if someone was like that fir a time, it isnt fine still nope?..
Stay well all! 
That is great! I am really happy that you’ve found the strength to turn your life around.
It’s ok to feel overly excited. We humans are emotional creatures first, and only rational creatures second.
I hope you recover a lot more!
Thanks Andrey 
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Burt my excitement is painful and paranoid you know… I dont know if i should worry about it…
I was overthinking too in an excited way, when even i sat down on my couch today after my intense day… I feel pain still even… Idk,as i said, my pdoc saw me as a sedentary human being, who was refusing to fight and i was even a dead soul for a time, but this excitement is painful.
I should just endure it, Andrey? Neither my zyprexa or my klonopin doesnt calm it a lot… But yes, this is new to me too, but i hate, that its painful, its not normal still ya know and i have it since half an year already… idk if it’ll balance?..
I become overly excited too, sometimes. It goes away in a day or two.
But I don’t feel pain in my body as you do. So I can’t say that I understand your situation.
Try to channel this energy into doing something good. You could exercise, or you could get creative (write or compose or draw), or you could sing.
How do you usually spend your days?
Well, yeah… am very affected physically too… my sufferings are hard, but theyve destroyed my life and this is not my fault… i was blaming myself before for it, fir 20 years in fact… i could be a bpd, its strange my sz, isnt it? 
Well, i get up and i go outside to some grocery shops or some other shops for an hour… then, i talk to my mother for some other 2 hours… later, i try to maintain my house, i do some chores… which is mire than befire lol…
Then i try to socialize on internet…
At the late afternoon, i always turned smashed, with physical sensatiobs and unable to move a lot, so desperate still…
After it, i just turn numb but i listen to music or watch more rarely some movie and later surfing on the net… thats all…
Idk, i know lots of despair and now that i know, that there is another reality, i just worry aboyt the future… am terrible in socializing yet still… idk if my 20 years old isolation marked me… one friend told me, that Monte cristo, neither Robinson crusoe turned mad around their isolation, but maybe it affects lol yeah…
Anyway, thanks for being with me tonight 
Yeah, my somatization is hellish, but i still also am paranoid often etc… am affected badly in my thinking because of that too… i mean, that this took my positivity etc… but am fighting as hell now… i just maybe still give up almost every day, idk…
I dont want to burden you heh…
Well, i finally was to the dentist even around my paranoia, i had 2 cavities, i did a good job with that 
I blame still myself for my lows and i probably bug totally still around you all…
Ok, maybe ill pray now heh
We are neighbors Andrey lol!!! 
anyway, lots of health to you! And i still cant talk about big subjects, you know… i became limited in my head, andrey, you know that…
Ok, ill continue fighting, you too lol!
I wait for my benadryl here to knocks me out…
I need to go to the dentist too…
To have my upper wisdom teeth removed. They are rotten. But I am scared of extractions. 
It is awesome that you go out every day now!
Yeah we are neighbors. This autumn it has been so hot here. Even today it was sunny in the afternoon, until sunset. I guess it was the same in your country.
I am lucky to have a few friends who help me out when I am in need. Also, my family is supportive.
I’ve also found a few things that I enjoy doing. And my job is going well. I have some social anxiety but nothing too worrisome. Medication has helped me a lot.
Keep fighting, don’t give up! 
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