Does Schizophrenia dictate life or is it you?
Proper treatment means I have a little bit of freedom and no treatment means disease over takes life leading to failure and death.
Wish it were me all the time but itâs often the illness.
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I agree. But Selegiline 20 mg and âWRITE EXISTENCEâ gave me, room for happiness.
Iâm on olanzapine and quetiapine and chlorprothixene PRN. They help tremendously.
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The illness has become me, and I have become the illness. I donât know where one starts or the other ends. All I have left of me are memories pre-sz.
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Awesome replyâŚ
SZ definitely dictates life to me, but it is not a bad dictation. It basically is a coerced therapy at this point, but I can handle it. There are good moments, then there are âtoughâ moments, thatâs all. It can be a mostly positive experience so long as you are willing to change to fit the disorder. Iâm willing to change.
Who or what I am going to become, I do not know. I donât even know where I go when I die, so how can I be positive about SZ? I just have positive instincts about it is all.
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Sometimes with the illness you have to compromise. I am not able to do what I would love to, so I am in a job the is easy for me and that has to be my biggest compromise. You just have to learn to live with Schizophrenia and never go off your medicine.
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I dictate my life for the most part, but the sz guides me. For example, I canât just stay at a job I hate, because it will send me into an episode. If I trust someone I shouldnât be trusting, I usually have a delusion about them that drives me away. When I look back on it, I see that my life is better for getting rid of that person. So I trust that my delusions are trying to tell me something. Maybe that girl isnât actually hiding letters in the wall, but she is definitely not treating me very well and I shouldnât keep her as a friend.
I have a very doormat kind of personality, so the only times I stand up for myself are when Iâm having delusions. I think I develop specific delusions as a way of protecting myself from bad people.
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It was a death sentence for four years, but now I experience freedom from it.
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Im on a pretty low dose of Risperdal, so I still am dealing with some symptoms, but I really cant tolerate a higher dose, even though it would ease the symptoms some at higher doses.
My illness pretty much dictates my life, I am just trying to go with the flow and dealing with the paranoia the best that I can.
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Some have a kind of situational/episodic psychosis reaction. If you had an argument with someone before symptoms started and just quit talking to them and do not discuss their dirty laundry, you may have some remission of symptoms. If you leave without telling off this person, you may not have the strangers start to bother you much so you avoid a paranoid diagnosis.
Others are new to area or last person in area who has not experienced psychosis, they may have the voices start around some schizos or it is location-based and you are told to bother an employee or customer in specific place. Some locals who just experienced psychosis symptoms had fewer symptoms if they avoided the situations where the voices started or avoid a specific person when they hear the voices in this personâs company. Some churches do tell their parishioners to avoid talking to anyone who has been psychotic for an extended period of time, it will reduce their own psychosis symptoms. A lot of people do hear the voices a little, it can be almost normal in some areas to hear the voices a little, and still work/function. Though many of these people do thought broadcasting, gang stalking, trespassings/vandalisms or screw up relationships/employer/coworkers/customers. This is probably the situation if you are running across church people who tell you the church is only route to making voices stop. Some of the churches have been pushing preach stalking to deal with disability recipients in community who are on mental care like it is ethical issue. You may find yourself in a cult church you cannot easily leave if you take up one of these healing offers. Can be thrown out of church, stolen from, family threatened and harassed for years by so many new people from the church, it could be difficult working if it was big church you tried. A lot of these churches are more of anti-christ situations with no ethical grounding, except you left quietly and did not talk about this much and wait for the show/problems to passâŚ
Iâm living in a s-it hole that dictates a bit too much. Single friends of mine who were even shacked got screwed at multiple jobs and had nothing to show for trying to stay here â no house, no running car, no money â just old. The women started to flee when you could fall prey to a male coworker who is trying to land dates by ruining female coworkers, and women get no unemployment if this happens and it is really common here. People who moved alone are increasingly getting screwed out of the area â some women falling prey to prostitution if they manage to ruin you and men running away too while middle-class people are being screwed to get everyone to follow orders from the voicesâŚonly wealthy were being left to buy the new houses off the contractors. Poor were converted many years ago and many do not make their own choices, even follow orders to harm someone and will end up in jail willingly as life is just so hard.
Iâve tried moving a couple times recently to conservative area even and got ruinedâŚsharing walls with totally disruptives and had to ditch as landlord was keeping the crazy one, shown why some of the local women living alone went crazy, and shown what happens to motivate you to follow orders if you move to the area. I appreciate knowing this so much but this left things dictated to me â Cannot live alone in my city very easily female any more except for friend who was working at police station, rest of the women were slowly going broke due to vandalisms and lots of broken belongings, then guy shows up as your âsolutionâ. These end up being wife beaters or baby killers here, no way to get anything unwanted to leave you alone. Iâm living with family so I can wait on best friend who is in jail for a few more years â last good, sane guy I know here.
Job market has thrown me out â told to work at grocery or they donât want to see me working in public, or will get me fired. My own inlaws who are wealthy wonât even hire me to clean or do yard work. Guy did good business here scooping dog poop, got into big house and everything â then he got screwed out of here after pissing off someone wealthyâŚCrap happens. Iâm avoiding local employment anyway as something is just wrong and place is going under. I would be the responsible party and Iâm not going to get sued due to cheap company that is almost bankrupt, lots of nutty employees here who do anything and IMPOSSIBLE staffing situations that are almost negligent. I work from home now.
I hear the voices all the time, most waking hours. Meds never helped. Put on lots of weight as side effectâŚInsomnia does this on female, lots of weight gain.
Got screwed by my employer who is making slaves or taking money to keep away crazy, I caught crazy twice. This is technically work comp because I worked in life-death in the 12 years since my nervous and onset of schizo symptoms. Stay away from the alternative therapies like metaphysical stuff, they ruined the employees at the event centers they used. This is really common and totally nothing you can do about it except wait it out. Cannot work easily now listening to double the voices, now someone rambling on about GAWD and Jesus too. BTW: Someone talking about Jesus in crazy manner usually means you are about to be screwedâŚNeed to leave quietly. Just disappear.
I just control what I avoid â nights have gotten too bad to bother with much here. Iâm just too creeped. Friends are all married or new relationship who doesnât like me. I do the shopping and some day events but donât even want to bother with worry about going alone here. Do not get involved in volunteer as Iâm not welcome after coming across a psychopathic charity director. Do not know anyone I can work for here â do not work in public here any longer so I donât get an F-U bomb dropped on me by the new nuts & lots of public attention dropped on me from out of towners who donât understand this communityâs problems, but will bite their butt eventually. LMAO Just have to avoid them⌠Not going to bother trying to move or buy a house for long time, just got screwed trying to live alone in some very f-ed up places and going broke trying the normal. Can move to tax sale junker when boyfriend is out of jail in a couple moreâŚHave low-cost basement apartment at parentâs in â â â â -hole city that trashed me but could always be worse. Cops discriminate bad here & help ruin people so can do nothing about anything except pay speeding tickets⌠Parents could use my help as they get older and they are open to moving soâŚwho knows. None of the other family will help â all are millionaire who do nothing for anyone else unless it is tax write off as the local GAWD will render them broke for doing anything for the victims of the communityâŚMeds donât stop the voices, I just get to sleepâŚStill functioningâŚ
Iâm not the illness but itâs sure a butt-kickingâŚIâm still handling enough normally except for what is not worth bothering withâŚNeed to make some improvement for me like getting back to visiting boyfriend in jail when the second-dose-of-crazy from meeting the wrong people wearâs off â too much social harassment visiting the jail and donât want boyfriend beat; and have to exercise every day as weight is disabled-size. Hate fact local gym discriminates against some and you start to have your belongings stolen from locked lockers but this is just how local areaâs kids run things and other options are available but kinda undesirable like weight rooms at small gym female could not use (50 lb plates I hate to load)âŚWeight lifting increases weight loss speed by 50%âŚ
I try to get betterâŚ
But I think this Sz set up the structure of my lifeâŚ
If it wasnât for the Sz⌠I wouldnât need meds⌠or need to avoid triggersâŚ
I can choose to live a good life despite my illnessâŚ
But Sz does have a vote on what I do with my day.
schziopnrenia is all encompassing. It completely controls your life. Voices have complete control.
Itâs just one of many things I manage. Like my diabetes and my diet. I am not defined by my health condition.
Pixel.
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@Username. Same here⌠Iâm tired & weary of living.
Yes. Complete control. Itâs sad.