What is the difference between an intrusive thought and the internal thoughts that take up all the space in your brain? Can completely relate to what you said
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What is the difference between external/internal voices?
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Huh? I don’t know what you mean by this.
An intrusive thought is just an unwanted thought. Everybody gets those.
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I mean, for me an intrusive thought is just that, a thought that pops into my head that is a little uncomfy. But I sometimes can literally hear voices, talking out loud, but that come from inside my head, rather than from without
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For me internal is when I hear my own thoughts and my own voice.
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External voices is like, hearing someone whisper over my shoulder, like they would actually be standing there. Internal voices is yeah, hearing voices in my head, like there’s a little speaker in my brain, I guess
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Just meaning, the voice/noise in my head is vague, they’re just constant non-stop negative things being said to me all day long. Like you said, there is zero control over your internal space, it’s like your brain has been taken over
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It makes me want to scream
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For me, the voices seem like sentient, separate beings that have access through the backdoor of my mind, so to speak.
What they think and say is completely outside my control. But I do have the choice of whether I listen or not
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I can’t decide whether the delusions or the voices are worse.
Delusions can be absolutely terrifying.
And voices reinforce those delusions.
From my experience
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And waking up each morning terrified, because you know you would have to face the voices/noise all over again
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It’s not really a terror for me, it’s more like, here we go again…
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If I can ask, When you are delusional are your emotions blunted as well?
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No the opposite, they’re extreme anger, fear and rage. Sometimes I became violent with my family.
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I’m sorry, that’s my fault! I meant can you feel positive emotions when you are delusional, like love and warmth?
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Little and not often.
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Once you’re out of your delusion state, can you feel good feelings again?
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Yes a bit more but still numb overall. I have severe negative symptoms. But I believe they started a few years before my diagnosis and then slowly got worse.
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Yeah I feel normal emotions. I haven’t been delusional for a few years now. I still hear voices but I recognize them as hallucinations and usually just try my best to ignore them.
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I experience feelings of kindness and genuine empathy for people. In a psychotic State, I am indifferent to who gets hurt. Emotionally, not physically. I’ve never been violent
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