Does anyone think there the devil

I’ve been dealing with thought broadcasting since the beginning of 2015. Its started out people calling me names and spreading rumors on me. I confronted friends and family about it and they denied it but constantly respond to my thoughts in my face. Dealing with this has been very exhausting. Staring January 13 of 2017 which was a friday I started hearing voices. They were telling me I was God and giving me instructions which I followed and it landed me in the hospital. The voices constantly talked about an ex girlfriend of mine from high school. And would constantly call me gay. Till one day the voices got so bad that they forced me to punch my brother. They convinced me that he started the rumor that I performed a homosexual act and that the girl wanted me to stand up for myself or everyone would right me off a gay and I’d be lonely. Every since that night everyone’s been calling me the devil and saying I’m a rapists. Its like the world has been putting me through test to determine my fate. When ever I would smoke they would say things to me like I’m raping my own daughter. I don’t even have a daughter. I think they wanted me to stop watching porn and masturbating but I wouldn’t.they started saying I was going to get gangraped, then as time went on it got worst. They constantly called me a rapists and accused me of raping they daughters.they would tell me to do things. Like stand up without budging for hours and not to eat or drink anything. Or not go to kingsdominion after the family planned it for my bday and my mom rented a truck already. They tell me it was a command from god. When I did otherwise it got worse. They told me I will be cut into little pieces and all types of god awful things would happen to me because I was the devil. Now they. Only repeat over and over “its going to hurt” and let me know its over no more test. They told me there still going to cut me into pieces and says it won’t . be over when I die because I’m the devil and I’m responsible for all the evil things done on earth since the beginning. I’m really y scared I can’t trust anyone because I’m sure people have been reading my thoughts for years now but nobody wants to come clean. For some reason its in my mind that I can only make it worst by watching poem or anything for that matter movies , tv etc. Even being on my phone. Mosttimes I kiss want to kill myself but I’m scared of hell meds do nothing to rid the bad thoughts. How do I survive

Have you tried many meds? I got lucky with my current med and it stopped the feeling of thought broadcasting/telepathy. I’ve tried many meds. Everybody reacts differently to meds and it’s all trial and error unfortunately.

If a lot of meds fail then your doctor might suggest clozaril.

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I’m currently taking invega. I take them every other day instead of daily the side effects make me uncomfortable. I’ve witnessed to much for the meds to just come and save me from my way of thinking. My past will haunt me forever regardless.

I’ve struggled with thought broadcasting a lot. Really the best things for it are meds as well as reality testing. You’ve already confronted the people you thought were reading your mind and putting thoughts into your head. I know it’s hard to believe, believe me. But they really can’t read your thoughts. Haldol helped me a lot with this delusion, however I had to stop it due to bad side effects. You should talk to a doctor and try and find the right meds for you. Also I started practicing mindfulness again and that has made me feel a lot better. Don’t feel alone, a lot of people have experienced this delusion nbefore.

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You need to tell your doctor that you’re still in distress. He may increase your dose or put you on a different med. Especially if you can’t tolerate the side effects.

Don’t give up.

I’m not sure taking it every other day is a good idea unless your doctor agrees to it.

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i believe in the devil

Me too. What do you think she be done to him if we ever caught him

I pretty much think my half siblings have a p.i. following me.

What’s a p.i.??

Private investigator. They know I’ve moved so. I can’t go anywhere around my birthday. I don’t trust my half siblings.

I don’t trust anyone?

What ? 1515151515

Not anymore not since January 2017. Life isn’t life any more. I’ve always been a loner but now I feel everyone’s lying to me. I don’t know truth from false, real from fiction

Go see if you can be admitted to the hospital. I don’t think your meds are working out. I was like you in some ways for over a month. I bitched,yelled was paranoid. I see some of your paranoia. It would help you.

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To go to the hospital I mean.

Thanks for your concern but I don’t trust them either. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m all alone. In afraid it’ll be that way until one day I’m somehow convinced that I’m just a normal human being and not the devil

Alright have a good night.

One time I was wondering if I was the antichrist, but only briefly.

Thanks u have a goodnight as well. God bless you

How did you get over it?