Just ranting again but I can’t take not feeling emotions strongly anymore. I feel calmer, but more numb. It’s a state of existence I’m getting used to by this point. There’s a verse from a rapper that goes “Son, put feelings in your dealings, never do it numb.” and that really rings true. everytime I speak I feel not myself or numb to my emotions. I get angry sometimes that’s for sure. But I’m at a point now where I can’t even tell when I’m genuinely feeling something or not. It’s all lost in a haze.
I’ve noticed that you still have your sense of humour though which is a good thing. I’ve seen the back and forth bant you have on the forum so I don’t think it’s that bad for you, but I don’t know you so I can’t say for sure.
I have fairy lights set up in my room which sort of help with low mood. Better than gazing out at the barren wasteland that is winter in Northern England. Do you have lights?
I’m in touch with my emotions a bit more now that I’ve had my risperidone reduced down to 3mg from 4mg
I’m going to ask my pdoc for a further reduction to 2mg next time I see her.
It’s important to be able to show your emotions
Being a zombie is no way acceptable.
Yeah its a horrible thing this haze. I have to stay on my antipsychotic for a few years unfortunately. But once I get off them I can hopefully feel emotions again.