@SkinnyMe that sounds like a very similar issue that I struggle with, with a friend.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I find for myself acceptance is the key. I think for a lot of people, it’s easier to be angry than to be afraid.
Anger is an empowering emotion, which can make you feel stronger when you have no control. I’ve been there myself, and understanding them in that context helps me a lot to accept them just as they are
Hope this helps in some small way