Neighbors, people in public, music, conversations, bumper stickers, newspapers, the TV, all of it seems to be about me. I hear people in real life seemingly just talking about me- it makes it painful to go in public. I have to move apartments because I can hear through the walls of this place. Seems like everywhere I go, people talk about me, everything seems to be referring to me.
I know that it is due to an interaction of pathologies, I know my stuff. I just wonder if you guys have this too.
I have just carried on for five years now, like âkeep talkingâ to the voices.
Yeah, I know delusions of reference, but what about intense, seemingly perfectly real perceptions of reference, as in hallucinations as clear as other conversations?
I donât have the noise thing or hear people talking about me but I believe the whole world is âin on itâ and my whole world is staged. Therefore I know that despite their acting normal and like they donât know me, they all secretly know exactly who I am. It is inescapable. I am constantly monitored and watched and everyone is in on it. I am hoping over time it will lessen. My meds are keeping the psychosis at bay so I am stable but my delusion is very real and constantly present.
What 47 described is exactly what Iâve experienced for the past several years. Going in public and maintaining relationships is especially difficult as a result.
I wonder what would happen if we met and went in public together.
Well, I donât know
2 people who both believe the world is revolving around them. So is it the 47 show? or the Lexicon show? or both?, lol. I am convinced that it is the 47 show, 24/7 and I canât escape it. I am convinced they wonât let me have my ârealâ life in the ârealâ reality which includes peace of mind, a job I love, fortune, fame and a world full of love. Nope. I donât get that. I am stuck âhereâ instead. Who knows what the ârealâ world is about but I think itâs better than this one.
Iâll probably get into trouble for feeding into conspiracies, butâŚmaybe thereâs a way for other humans to make us feel that way without it actually being 100% âtrueâ for either of us. Were that any weird life events of actions you took just prior to your getting sick that you recall that might cause someone to target you? Because there definitely were for me.
Donât worry about feeding into my conspiracy. You can neither make it worse nor better. It is firmly set. There were not any life events that might cause people to target me however, there were life events that strongly contributed to my believing my life is a stage set and I am being watched. Example: The day of my first âpsychotic breakâ. I got the very first âthoughtsâ that I am in a brain study. I believed I was being controlled by scientists and went dancing down the streets of Bellevue, WA for hours. At one point, I stopped and went into 7-11 to get a Coke. I grabbed a Coke went to the counter, told her I had no money and she said it was OK, I could take the Coke. I drank it and danced some more. Later, I went into Starbucks, asked for a Frappacino and told them I did not have my gold card on me, she said that this one time they would let me get the Frappacino for free. So I got a free Coke and a free Frappacino, on the same day, during the middle of my first âpsychotic breakâ. I sincerely believed they were all âin on itâ. You could argue it is a coincidence and maybe youâd be right but the free drinks are just a couple of numerous bizarre things that happened on the day âtheyâ told me (in my head) that I am the subject of a brain study and that my brain can be (is being) controlled. I was dancing and I was tired and wanted to stop but couldnât because they wouldnât let me. I take my meds every night. Iâm afraid not to. I have had a very scary psychotic break where I hurt myself. I believe the scientists made me hurt myself as part of the study. None the less, I am afraid and I take my meds. I also go to therapy. Donât worry about adding fuel to my fire. My delusion is firmly set and very detailed. Like I said, you can neither enhance it nor make it go away.
I hear my name a lot when I hear people talking, like it feels like theyâre talking about me. But my name is so unique that it canât be true, yet my brain still hears my name being repeated over and over and makes me feel like everyone is talking about me.
Yes!! It doesnât go away with medication. At least not for me. Have you spent hours upon hours checking for hidden cameras and bugs in your house? And searching online for the feed of your âshowâ?
I used to act this way, but after awhile I just didnât worry as much and FORCED myself to go out and lately forcing myself has been really hard. My girlfriend isnât here and I HATE running errands and going around strangers at the grocery store or pet store. I donât shop for clothes except online. We use amazon prime to get alot of things delivered to our door.
But still you have to force yourself and meditate through all your anxiety and worry and get the proof:
(theyâre not all talking about you and if they were theyâre just going to talk sit down and eat lunch).
Iâve been meeting with friends and family and trying to work through the SAME issue as you. You begin to think the world is revolving around you but thatâs because youâre not properly grounded in reality and your mind is playing tricks on you. Try not to worry and go out to eat or walk in your neighborhood for half an hour and donât worry so much about these tricks your head is playing on you.
Do you drive or have a car? Iâd drive someplace you think youâd feel comfortable in and go there and visit that place and start from there. In my nightmares, my place of comfort was my grandmothers old house.
