Nick, have you ever thought about moving back into a group living situation? I got my fill of living alone and wonder of maybe you haven’t, too.
I wonder if it’s not the other way around Nick, that more people are afraid of you than you are of them? You have described yourself as being a pretty big guy, and if your reserved, that is you don’t talk as much to others, they probably error on the side that you are a threat (could be, not that you are, simply because you haven’t proven you not by being open and friendly at first).
Maybe you give the impression that you are stronger than you you think you are?
Hi Nick~
Im always being accused by my kids of thinking everything is an emergency. Not sure if its a disorder-or learned behavoir- or ptsd ( good reasons for that last one! ). Your posts are always so down to earth–Hope you are just having a bad day. What Chordy said about moving to a group living situation was interesting. Hope you have a good night XOX
Big Picture: A bunch of stuff is totally bull ■■■■ to market product/services & fraud it just normal business…When you finally find this out, it is a hard one.
I had nervous breakdown after woman was bragging she had driven other friends crazy and I was next. She told me she was aggressively sexually molested by her cousin, who she had introduced to me almost immediately and now he wanted me…he started stalking and my house got vandalized. She had assisted with assaults on other friends who were harmed so badly, they spent weeks in hospital…Shrinks refused me care when this turned out to be PTSD, I went major depressive episode, lost my job, psychosis started and now they call me schizo. (The local police ignore this group of scam artists, a wealthy group of sex abusers & their victims who find new people to keep the abusers entertained & lie to support a lot of torment…Most of the victims have dealt with it for 30 years…some former victims are now stalkers, vandalizing and harassing the new victims…Local cops and DA are almost enablers to this group, even threatening victims into silence & ruining some who are considered a nuisance or too assertive.)
Most of the messed up ones…
- Try too hard to make friends/date & family are sickeningly fake…
- Start to make demeaning comments (like you are unworthy but you are tolerated) & start the control game quickly…
- Brag about illegal activity or hurting people…
- Sexually aggressive or funky fetishes making them, borderline dysfunctional (does not work is not good while displaying this crap…One of these who has no need to work due to family money will be a monster to you & impossible to ever escape.)
- Tells stories with too much material missing to be possible…
- May introduce you to other friends but they are fakes (will not talk about much or just suck up)…
The facts, locks will not keep out anyone who wants to get in…this group did a HUGE amount of bragging and I learned a ton of ways ruined people are used to entertain wealthy sex predators like this bunch…I’ve even got to see it happen, playing out in my life & other victims of this bunch who are now silent enablers (these are for appearances to catch more victims)…My neighbors saw strangers leaving my house numerous times while I was gone and stuff was ruined…Lock changes didn’t keep them out long.Two friends had someone trespass, one person left tar footprints on new carpet repeatedly in a shoe size of no-one who lived in this house, ruining belongings over weeks until they fled town and another friend had multiple cats let outside while she was at work. She was very concerned about cats being outside and 4 cats outside at once would not happen without a trespasser…(This lady lived in gated apartment building with security system, reset PIN number and this still happened until she moved in her boyfriend…at same time, her boss propositioned her for sex telling her about her private dating history he shouldn’t know. Both friends are doing okay now, dealing with some crazy people sometimes who follow orders from the voices to bother people but making good living, happily married and raising their family…people who remain living alone are treated worse & attractive women will be pursued. Some social groups, churches even and employers are home to predatorial men who will not hesitate to ruin a possible mistress to get a submission…most of these ladies develop psychosis, problems with crazy talking stalker strangers who know private stuff and trespassing/vandalisms. There is no legal defense and restraining orders are almost useless…cops get some a psych evaluation which can cost victim $100k+, loss of employment, health insurance and homelessness to shut up an overly assertive person who doesn’t just count their lucky stars they have a job and replace everything basic that breaks
The witch I met said she would break my possessions repeatedly to run me into a ton of debt so I could not get legal help to defend myself…it got a submission out of past victims…I will never own much again. Keep your money in the bank and choose to live a basic lifestyle, just blending in with the cheap fashions or this form of abuse will send many back to their parent’s homes.
I’m 40. I lived alone since I was 22…I never heard the voices much growing up, nothing I could really remember. I almost took this witch as a roommate, she probably would have killed me with her family scam & problems. She spent several years scheming to ruin me and finally let her abuser lose in my life as soon as the woman had keys to my home to care for a pet who was mistreated…The voices started on my 30th birthday party in the company of this woman and it was her abuser talking…I have had no mental silence since.
I lived for 8 years tolerating the stalking, sightseeing nuts, trespassing and everything in house breaking repeatedly while tolerating a worsening job situation in my city…then I decided to relocate. I moved to a ‘gang stalking’ slave colony…This city had so many people who are psychotic some of the time, they follow orders from the voices to ruin coworkers, harass customers even if it will get them fired, torture students out of the college, harass strangers at social events…I had so many people walk up to me talking about my private information and start to talk to me about my source of income and even knew my name…At the same time, some of the men would try to pick me up with private information and some would make threats to turn me in to state to get SSDI canceled as ‘I should be working at McDonalds with my problem and they didn’t want me working a good job.’ Some try to get dates with this approach if they can scare you enough…Other schizo victims who tried this city, fled as the SOCIAL SECURITY office is very tough on people and most get no assistance with anything, except forced into a minimum wage job and tortured from the local colleges for trying for any better life. The part-time psychotic ones will harass anyone out of anger over their own hard life & no help ever available to escape.
The group of abusers I met brags about being anti-christ also and I’ve been thrown out of a church over private information no one in the church would know about this unfortunate mistake of trusting these folks…only a part-time psychotic/gang stalker would know this stuff…I was publicly humiliated and thrown out of a church because I could not attend the services due to cost of gas & could not tithe but I’ve heard this group does this to others…I’ve since been followed around that neighborhood by members of this church bad mouthing me over calling them ‘devil worshippers’ & confronting the pastor. So much for a church standing up to questioning? Unfortunately, this is a huge church, these nondenominationals always are big, and employ a lot of crazy messed up people in my area which I know will be a problem. Other churches will tolerate this kind of mistreatment of specific parishioners without correcting it…most of the folks getting pastoral counseling for mental complaints are left acting like a nutty gang stalker, following orders from voices they consider to be God - including wife beating, theft, vandalism, scheming to harm someone…Sounds like solid, Christian values to me!
Reality, some of the part-time psychotics do follow orders to target specific people to date…THESE ALWAYS TRY TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING PRIVATE OR NUTTY! …some of these folks are wife beaters, too screwed up to hold down a job, sex addict pathological cheaters or shopping money abusers but some of these fix-ups are okay…Some men shop churches, social clubs and work for this purpose or seeking a mistress…If you meet a guy talking to you about private or nutty stuff to pick you up and you suspect trespassing due to damaged property recently & guy starts to threaten that things will be worse for you for rejecting him, you need to move ASAP or house your important stuff elsewhere including personal information that could cause ID theft. Unfortunately, this happens in poorer neighborhoods & single women are not left alone as they may have a SSDI check someone could mooch & get more welfare benefits for shacking up with her
It’s a big, ugly world. I hate dealing with the demands of the mental care too…but it keeps the check coming & provides some relief from the insomnia.
I just went for a walk only to have a whole party stop the conversation and one man started to talk about something nutty about me – ‘blew myself up huge and no man will want me’…The guy shut off the lights and walked up to the street to say this loudly while the rest of the big party grew silent and giggled… my walking companion and I couldn’t see the face of who was talking…I’m new to this neighborhood and really like walking listening to the wind/birds so I LOVE this…There a have been a few other crazy hellos from the troubled ones here too…I’ve living next door to two cops but will still wonder forever…some of the cops are sickos too though.
I was intercepted numerous times while alone in public in my city and the new nutty city I tried…I will no longer hike alone. I don’t feel safe…the nutty city I tried has a lot of very violent, nutty senseless crime and I didn’t feel safe. I always slept with the door blocked as some people on other chat boards will admit they had stuff moving around in their home while they slept…I have used some landlords I did not think would ever bother changing locks and met some maintenance men who would probably browse my underwear drawers or more…
I still plan to get back to full-time work in next 2 years, at least try it while I can still get back on SSDI if a coworker tries to ruin me again or work environment it too hostile due to disability discrimination. This has happened 2 times so far. I was denied unemployment even and had to survive on my savings but I did not have to work while being threatened with loss of SSDI check or demands for sexual favors. I drive in big city…I travel alone. I camp alone (used to, not sure now) as I won’t even walk wooded trails alone any longer after seeing the nut colony city. I have been on business trips, social mixers, office parties, dating parties…and I was an introvert. This is just forced but comes easily now…
Big helps:
*Keep the positive people/have regular contact, limit contact with any stressors/toxics…If you have a story like mine, you no longer make any contact with the person including refusing to answer the door/phone/emails…Sometimes, things will get better for you in 2-3 years if you don’t discuss it much, refuse to follow orders from voices, do not talk to self and ignore the voices. In some smaller cities, a ton of people were worked over by a scammer like I met…You cannot talk to anyone you met through the person or seems chummy, these are suck ups to be okay…You may need to relocate to live with family farther way & expect the gang stalker/town crazies to say hello to you if you move some place new. Sometimes, a lot of a town is mentally screwed up and doesn’t care what happens to the person sacrificed to the town monsters… (For family coping, the book ‘Toxic Family’ is hugely helpful…)
*Know a lot of people hear the voices some of the time and follow orders to harass people, or worse…some talk like they are possessed and do not realize it, especially little kids. This is called thought insertion – hijacking of personal mental voice such as repeated phrase unrelated to current activities or train of thought…It should be ignored or chat back an opposite…Some churches advocate this behavior even…
*YOGA and exercise are powerful helps…you learn a lot of mental control over worries using yoga & exercise is no-calorie high…
*Realize the pdoc is usually not your friend…I’ve found therapy to actually be harmful now as some of the psych docs & especially social workers are moving towards refusal to discuss any very painful personal problems & especially family abuse/sexual/relationship issues for fear of having a fate similar to mine…This is called ‘happiness theory’, a kinda sick way of saying you need to just keep moving/working, refuse to discuss/think about anything you cannot change and let it all go…Good book, insultingly written to criticize schizos but…I’ve seen pdoc give confrontational/assertive patients a forced mental hospitalization weekend for an attitude adjustment…I’ve never found pdocs to take much (any) feedback okay anyway except quietly switching doctors…
*I will no longer live in apartment buildings…The close proximity starts the voices for some of the part-time psychotics unless you are absolutely quiet/act VERY normally…some of these folks will burn the building to get insurance money & get out of lease…I’ve even heard the victim is blamed sometimes in frame-up…I’ve met a couple men who were committed while I was in hospital…I’ve heard some complain to health department even…It isn’t bad with a duplex & mature-aged neighbors (younger folks are sometimes socialized to be crazy, older folks think it’s humiliating to act like a nut) but detached housing is a sanity saver, fewer neighbors act up…
*Art can be a powerful help…So can music, work, nature…
*Meetup.com may be good…It is a social media planning tool for activity groups all over the nation…Though some report it brought the gang stalkers closer as nuts targeted specific groups, events, people. I had good and bad experiences with this…
We are all stuck in this same mess…It is possible to keep yourself emotionally okay enough & just keep moving. I went back to old group of friends with help of Facebook & feel fine there as I know these folks are okay…I’ve met some predators booty shopping the social scene ‘causes’ & I’ve met a ton of great people in women’s groups but also a woman I had to run off as I caught her trespassing my house numerous times (out of car and walking around the whole yard) and cops refused to help…neighbors even saw her. But, I also have some family I don’t talk to much any longer as they work in psych care and mistreated me more than once plus participate in gang stalking instead of EVER helping me during or after my nervous breakdown… I hope this helps…anti-depressants may improve things for you as they work faster with anti-psychotics…Seroquel is great if you need some help with insomnia…take it at night & cut it up.
It is proven, the added adrenylin from the anxiety over the social symptoms and psychotic symptoms leads to burn out for psychosis victims…the meds supposedly help…One can really feel numb sometimes and dissassociative reactions, crying when feeling numb after the whole day of insults, mental noise, crazy strangers, stress…It’s a huge stressor on humans as it is not a natural state…I was raised with nothing positive ever from my family so I know how to let it roll off…
Yes, I slept with the chair against the door…previous occupant of apartment had hunting knife strapped to door & still packing military man living with a girlie. I guess the drugged up dealers down the street who were ignored by the cops did look him up…I worried about it and left.
I slept with baseball bat beside bed many years…Dog was always nice, even an ankle biter will hear something outside before me…
Me, Aggressive? oh yeah sometimes it feels so good to just let it out but the gym got rid of the punching bag here…I do find myself reacting too harshly, exhaustingly for me to the crazy acting part-time psychotic gang stalkers harassing me about private stuff. It is good to know who is crazy in your neighborhood but the crap yelled just get nastier and grosser, like someone telling me I had the runs before leaving my house and I shouldn’t go far as I don’t want it in my shoes again…I hate meeting folks like this on a job and I have to work to survive…When you realize there is little protection for victims of disability discrimination at work, it is scary & disgusting…
You just have to do ‘WHATEVER’ and keep the good feelings when dealing with this!
chordy, I know you’re trying to help but I like my living situation in many ways. I live in a really nice studio apartment in an affluent neighborhood in a nice town. I was on a waiting list for four years to get this place; that’s how good this place is and the rent is relatively cheap. If I weight the positive and negatives, it comes out that this is a good place to live.
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very true. Most people just need to get from point a to point b and with as much as people look down when they walk, they most likely don’t even see you.
Yes I can. Yes I have. But I choose not to anymore.
“…let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” - James 1:19-20
Once upon a time I showed mercy upon a thief, Lord please show mercy upon me.