To be honest, children scare the heck out of me.
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Lol I like the title! I have 4 kids so not afraid of them but I sure appreciate teenage years. The toddler ages were not great.
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Children terrify me. I’ve never understood them. I was an only child with not many friends so I wasnt around them much, so I never got used to them.
I have difficulties being around them.
I had a abortion and I keep thinking I believe in miracles and great technology and that our baby survived.
Our son.
The fathers friends were saying they were going to kill me.
I thought my other boyfriend who was still one of my best friends could help me /us raise him.
I never told anyone then but my mum n grandma said it is out of the question I have him because I can not even take care of myself and he might be too damaged from the medication and alcohol I had taken.
I can’t believe I did such a thing and pray he survived and is alive and well.
And loved me and forgives me.
I have made babies laugh which is such a great feeling and sound.
I could have been a good mum.
I am affectionate and loving anyway.
But I can’t stand all the questions they ask and if they are not mine it can feel wierdaround them n I can feel so dumb when I do not remember things I once knew and the kids just learnt it at school n know it but I do not…baaaa
I apologise to my x.
I did not like those friends of his.
We were bad to each other.
I should have told him and kept our baby.
This was many years ago.
I was hearing voices 24/7 back then.
Your baby started over again with another mother. That is my belief.
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That’s how they protect themselves - for whatever reason from us. I’m scared of them and likewise…
I believed that I gave him to a woman I trust to take care of him and that she raised him but I was spiritually there with n for him.
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