Does anyone else do this? My Therapist says that I am always being dismissive about myself and putting my self down and being too apologetic.
I used to be like that, then I read an assertiveness book when I was a teenager, and now I think I’m actually the opposite. Not sure it’s a good or bad thing, just who I am now.
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Is that what she meant?(Assertiveness) She mentioned an example where I didn’t want to waste their time, as I wasn’t sure how much I should be tolerating before asking for their help because I know they have a lot of people to deal with.
Yes, assertiveness covers what you’re talking about. At its finest, it’s the gentle art of balancing your needs with the needs of others. You sound like you’re too much weighted on the ‘needs of others’ side.
Some assertiveness books etc, try to get you weighted on the ‘needs of myself’ side which is just as bad. So be very careful of that.
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I’m kind of the same way, except that sometimes I mess up and do something rude. Then I need to apologize.
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Get your therapist to recommend some books on assertiveness, but like I said, use your common sense while reading them, there’s a big difference between being assertive and being a bully. Practice makes perfect when it comes to assertiveness.
I will go as far as to say that I will assassinate my own character at times,and I believe that is due to a suicidal tendency so I start with the non lethal ways of doing some part of me in. I have been told that I speak badly of myself too by some acquaintances back when. And I tend to sacrifice bridges that I could use to get back to better places and times with, but I think I burn them so as to remain committed to the battles I wage. But the bridges are real enough (at least I think they are) theoretically, just so to feel I am remaining committed to the cause which is also religious in nature. I just can not take this all lying down, so I’ve become a vigilantly savior. lol
I was told by my neighbor’s son that I sell myself short. I have noted that I would rather defend someone else than defend myself. I apologize before making a mistake. I like to look out for people in my employ by making them feel more comfortable than they would if they went ahead with the job without my looking out for them. For instance, if the person is going to be working outside, and it’s going to be hot on that day, I postpone the day he is going to work until the weather is cooler. I like to tip moving men. Also, I like to pay bills.
CBT CBT CBT CBT CBT (whaddayamean this isn’t descriptive?)
my therapist and I have been working on getting rid of the negative self talk.
It starts to take root and then undermine confidence… that amps up the anxiety.
I put other people ahead of me who don’t really give a sh*t about me. I gotta change that.