I didn’t, I had apathy and lack of empathy since I was born. I hate hugs, uncomfortable. Seems like autism but I am sure its the sz.
Sometimes I wonder if I have a personality disorder along with the sz. Maybe I had sz since I was born.
It is certainly possible as you seem pretty unique on this site.
From the sound of the way you describe your parents behaviour it sounds pretty dysfunctional too and your relationship with them seems pretty odd to me.
We develop sz, sometimes during childhood rarely. It is not something you are born with.
Trauma, the environmental factors, genetics all play a part.
Same with personality disorders: What causes personality disorders? (apa.org)
“But new research has begun to explore such potential causes as genetics, parenting and peer influences”.
Maybe I have brain damage.
“* Other researchers are exploring genetic links to aggression, anxiety and fear — traits that can play a role in personality disorders.”
Read the link, it is pretty good.
I had emotions before SZA. I was probably over-emotional. I was all feel and passion. (Not that I couldn’t use my brain logically.) Since AP meds, my inner world, the dark beautiful things that inspired my creativity are gone, and my emotions are muted, but they are there. I just have to learn how to access them differently, and I plan on doing that (even though it will not be as awesome as when they were immediate.)
I read studies that say schizoprenics experience negative and cognitive symptoms many years before their diagnosis.
It said 76% of them.
There were a lot of things I wasn’t aware of before sz. Emotions, feelings, pain.
Yea same here but now I know I lack them.
I had bouts of mania to break up my down times. Which was awesome (until it wasn’t).
I’ve had my problems since I was a kid, though. I had my first terrifying hallucination when I was around 9. And my first major depression when I was 11.
Negative symptoms commonly appear during the prodromal phase of schizophrenia and before the first acute psychotic episode (Figure 2).2,9–11 Among patients with negative symptoms, 73% had them before the onset of positive symptoms and 20% experienced them within the same month as positive symptoms
Maybe because I was only 19 years of age. I am happy I have insight to my mental illness.
There is screening for personality disorders that psychs can do. It might give you a great insight.
If you have never felt empathy etc.
On the other hand it might give you what you feel is the perfect excuse to continue as you are.
Medication can depress emotions. The good and bad ones.
i had many emotions before sza, now the meds numb me, but my moods are stable. and yes aziz, ive had some negative symptoms for a long time, since teenager or earlier, things like cleaning or doing homework, i could never motivate myself to do
I always had emotions and I still do, although they have been seriously numbed due to depersonalisation. Whenever I am manic, I have more emotions.
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