When I first lost insight, I was still working in a food store at the till point mainly. In hindsight I found it funny when I chucked a customers grocery on the til table instead of placing it there.
I did it because I started to feel like this friendly spirit was jumping into customers, taking over their bodies
So I believed the customer wasn’t really in that body at that moment, or in other words, being influenced by the spirit.
I’m surprised that nobody called in to make a serious complaint to me!
Another time the voice was testing my ability to be not self conscious so I was asked by it to walk around the shops with my top half way up my belly, and bloating it out as much as I could.
When I was hospitalized I asked someone else in the ward if a marker stain on a painting meant something because I was sure it did. He was kind of in the same state as me so he said he thought maybe it did too.
I inadvertently convinced someone of my delusion, unless he was just playing along, which I hope was the case.
When I was hospitalized some huge guy who was a new patient got in my face and dumped a little Kool-Aid on my head. I backed down, the guy was big. But weeks or a month later he started being kind of friendly to me and joking around. He had a pick-up truck parked right outside the hospital and him and a couple other guys from the hospital were going out to party or something somewhere and he invited me to go. I asked him if he was going to kill me and he walked away and never talked to me again, lol.
Funny enough, almost thirty years later I was living by myself in a studio apartment in this apartment complex that rented to seniors and disabled people and this same guy moved into the complex. A friend of mine there made friends with the guy and for some reason the incident in the hospital came up. The guy told my friend that he had threatened me because voices were telling him that I was going to hurt him.
That must have been the night I was admitted a few days ago. I turned to my friend and said “do you know if there’s any chance the tap water comes from the toilet?”
He was shook.
Later when he was cooking, I came into the kitchen with a worried face and went “you’re not gonna put any pills in the food, are you?”
I know it sounds silly, but I was genuinely worried.
I also gave the finger to a camera, my voices at the time were enraged. They were watching me on camera. He has to rationalize it Noel, he’s gonna end up rationalizing himself out of it John.voices got a bit quieter. Staring at oranges to set mind free. It wasn’t real yay!
Once you rationalize it you won’t be able to handle it.
My voice told me to repeatedly keep telling them police and nurses that I am working for the restoration of the providence of salvation…very weird I must have appeared to them
I was also set some tasks in the hospital by the voice one of them being to hug the police man that was keeping guard of me, for as long as I could so when he brought me to the toilet I just got close to him, and hugged him hahahah
