I was quite the masher back in my salad days. I’ve been kissed by gorgeous women, and not so attractive ladies as well. But I enjoyed every smooch every time! 
Was the guy ok with it? Is he even upset?? I haven’t googled this story
3 Likes
i was playing pool at a Bar with my friends one night, and each time I’d walk around the table, this gal would grab my butt. Me and my buds laughed and I jokingly put on my friend’s wedding ring to try to get her to stop.
It was a harmless game of ‘grabass’…but if it were a guy grabbing a gal’s butt it would have been different. Like I said, there’s a good reason for double standards sometimes.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to surprise a person like Katy did. Occasionally it actually works out in one’s favor, I suppose.
1 Like
The difference is, again, your own perspective. If a girl was grabbing a guy’s butt repeatedly and it upset him, he would have just as much right to feel upset and violated as a girl would if the situation was reversed. You’re perpetuating a harmful myth that men always want sexual attention, and that if they don’t enjoy it, there is something wrong with them.
6 Likes
I had the same thing happen in a bar, where the woman kept grabbing me, I finally had to shout out to keep her hands to herself, it can be annoying to men as well. I’m kinda on the fence about some situations, but since the #metoo thing started, i’m much more careful about the jokes I make, with ladies I see in the work place.
Some PEOPLE, (men and woman) take things to far in all aspects of life, just the way it is, I think we are more equal than we care to admit.
2 Likes
I had a case manager rub my back once.
I’m sure that in her mind it was innocent.
But it made me feel very uncomfortable.
It goes both ways.
6 Likes
i dont know katy perry but it seemed like a nice thing to do…shes a good looking girl!!
This is heteronormative, traditional masculinity ■■■■■■■■. Gender has nothing to do with this. I don’t want men or women I don’t know grabbing my ass, and I’m not going to smile and laugh it off if it happens. There shouldn’t be any double standard. We’re not all old, straight men who think it would threaten our masculinity if we reacted negatively to an unknown woman touching us in a sexual way.
9 Likes
I don’t really want to join in the debate,
But I will say,
If Katy Perry kissed me like that,
I’d consider it harassment.
9 Likes
I don’t really think of the people on these types of shows as real people to put it in an extreme way. They are characters, trying to be entertaining. Everything is scripted. While what happened may have been problematic in hindsight, neither of the involved people likely even thought about the implications of the action or cared. But we can debate about what the kiss meant on here for sure.
1 Like
I agree it could have been pre planned and scripted.
You never know with these reality shows.
Nothing surprises me anymore.
3 Likes
Is a one-time kiss from a beautiful rock star really going to traumatize a legal adult? She doesn’t want anything from him, she doesn’t want power or control, she did it all in fun to do the guy a favor. It wasn’t done in a hotel room by a powerful movie producer or a sleazy wealthy female politicians mansion; the kiss was done in front of millions of people so, that guy already had problems that go way, way deeper than before this playful, innocent kiss. The guy needs a sense of humor.
But it’s a controversy with people on both sides the argument. I think the key argument here hinges on intent. It wasn’t Bill Cosby luring women to a hotel room with the intent to drug and abuse them. Bill Cosby’s actions were pre-meditated. This kiss was a spontaneous gesture done in fun that wasn’t for the sexual gratification of Katy Perry or for power. It was a three second kiss blown way out of proportion in media.
2 Likes
I think that it was planned.
Didn’t seem spontaneous to me.
Maybe, maybe not. It was still done in fun. But maybe you’re right because reality shows do sometimes script the “incidents” in their shows ahead of time. It’s no secret.
3 Likes
OMG…what the hell have I done? lol
Seriously, I always return to two issues: 1) consent (including forced consent), and 2) disparity of power.
2 Likes
This is heteronormative, traditional masculinity (bullshit).
- Treebeard
I don’t even know what you are talking about. Me and my buds thought the gal playing grabass with me was funny. Guess i just have a better sense of humour than most and I’m more secure in my masculinity than others.
@77nick77 nailed it in his first post on this thread.
It may be scripted and what he might have wanted, however reality shows and media in general should reflect what what is acceptable in every day normal life. Giving what is going on now, that was bad timing
4 Likes
It was for him not her.