Diagnosed Family Member - Passed Away

It’s been hard now, my dad’s been deceased for a little over two years now and it is something that I struggle with every day. I struggle with the guilt and shame of having to know that I didn’t have the best relationship with my father and with knowing that I’ll never be able to hug or see him again in the flesh. I remember one of the scariest days of my life was when my father was first diagnosed, he had been committed to the hospital, against his will, and he was so scared at the hospital that he constantly kept trying to run away. He was so scared that he was becoming belligerent with the hospital staff, to the point that the police were called in and he was restrained to his bed and had his clothes cut off of him so that he could properly be put in his night gown. Later, while he was still hospitalized he was still scared and wanted to go home to see his family so badly that he constantly would try to run away from the hospital. His attempts were futile and eventually the hospital staff caught on and the doctors starting putting the ward of the hospital that he was staying in on lockdown. That was one of the only times in my life that I had ever seen a grown man cry, it didn’t help that it was also my father, but it is one of those moments that are engrained in my brain and that I still relive at times and to this day have a fear of hospitals.

Then there are also those times when I miss my dad so much and I wish he were here to see what his daughter has become. To have seen me graduate high school, to see me get accepted into college. To see what a productive, young women that I have turned into. To see the person that I have blossomed into and to see the daughter that he helped raise and make. I just miss my dad and every day it is something that I struggle with.

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I’m sorry for your loss

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that must be hard for you not having him there to watch you grow,

i lost my dad nearly 2 years ago aswell and i wish he was here too but i know that he can’t be,

i get solace thinking that he is still looking out for me in some way, i still say to myself that i want to make him proud of me and happy for me for everything that i have achieved and i still go along to the garden of remembrance where his ashes were scattered and i find myself talking to him while i am there,

i am still angry with him though because of the circumstances of his passing but i can’t do anything about that, i’m just angry at him because he was an alcoholic and i still can’t help but ask why he did what he did leading to his demise. guess i still haven’t forgiven him yet.

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I am about to lose my step dad to cancer. I am sorry you lost your dad.

i m so sorry for your losses @asgoodasitgets and @samsoon1223 i hope time can wound your scares

I kind of feel like they’re with us in some way beyond the grave. My mom passed six years ago and I still miss her and still cry, just not as often now. Your dad suffered terribly, and I’m sorry you experienced that. He’s at peace now. I believe that. You’ll never not miss him, and always wish for more time, etc., but maybe there’s comfort in knowing he isn’t suffering and never will again. :heart:

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