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Death or Anhedonia?

Death or Anhedonia?

If I don’t take 20 mg Olanzapine

I will go in to psychosis state

with fully loaded paranoid delusions

which lead to brain failure and eventually death - with in few days.

So death in few days with positive symptoms.

If I take 20 mg olanzapine

every night I get Anhedonia - negative symproms.

Anhedonia is better than certain death.

When I used nootropics Sarcosine+Noopept both

gave me relief from Anhedonia.

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When I was on olanzapine I experienced anhedonia too. Life was grey. I craved sugar and I slept a lot. Right now that doesn’t seem so bad because I am uptight. I was mildly depressed on olanzapine, but at least I wasn’t so acutely self conscious. If I wasn’t afraid it might give me diabetes I might ask to be put back on it.

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I hate the negative symptoms far more then the positive ones… it’s torture being held captive in my own skin… frozen and flattened… unable to reach out and feel anything.

Even when I did get the power to tell someone I cared… there was no connection. I started writing letters… I was a pen pall in my own life.

The only thing that really helped me was a med adjustment … if your feeling flattened and disconnected you should try to talk to your doc.

I hope you feel better soon. It’s hard not to give up hope but I assure you… things will get better.

I’m on Olanzapine, and it’s strange because, unlike with Risperidone, I can’t find a difference between 15mg or 5mg, the side effects are the same.

Brain failure? 15 characters

brain failure - completely out of control

delusins - body shakes — body falls on ground — nothing but delusions

body shakes - can’t sleep — leads to death

I tried olanzapine + resperidone + zisperidone

I will keep it short

Olanzapine is just perfect for me

Didn’t try ablify or others

less than 20 mg is unacceptable

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Instead of trying another anti psychotic

I want to use tried and tested nootropic noopept

which keeps me in good condition,

away from anhedonia and

much better life

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I really want to use a better anti psychotic

but money and availability concern me

I just wish for money so that I can buy

nootropics and health supplements.