How do people deal with the stigma from the world? Not that I talk to anyone anyway, but I never let anyone know even if they became a “friend.” The problem is (all conspiracies aside) that when I conversate with someone for more then 30 minutes they think something is up like I’m tripping out on something or completely stoned, when I’m neither. I just don’t know how to deal with it. I feel like if I got to know someone and told me it would make things completely awkward. Like anything I’d say would be from a state of psychosis to them not actually me saying it. In short I just wish I had people in my life that didn’t care and genuinely wanted to be around me because I’m me. Also the fact I have burn scars from a car suicide attempt and a tiny amount self harm marks on my arm from a few years ago. But I’m not even like that anymore. It just hurts that anything I do when people know truly who I am feels like Im just crazy. 
Do I have nothing to offer anyone other then being a temporary entertainment piece?
I like your posts and would hang with you in a heartbeat…
You are mad cool. When I first got diagnosed, I tried keeping it a secret. But the more I avoided it, the scarier it seemed. Finally I broke down and told a friend of mine, and she said, “Oh, that explains a lot.” She was fine with it, and it gave me the confidence to tell my family, and then my other friends. A few got freaked out and they are no longer my friends. But about 90% of them didn’t care at all. We now make jokes about it all the time. Most people were relieved when I told them, because they were wondering what had happened to me.
I think there is a cyclical problem here. You need other people to accept you so that you can feel okay with it yourself, but you need to accept yourself before you can expect anyone else to be okay with it. So work on being okay with having sz, and maybe eventually tell one person. It can be a family member, a close friend, or a random stranger you just started chatting to.
You should also try to surround yourself with high quality people. I work in special education, so I was already hanging out with people who were used to seeing a person before an illness.
I’m starting to care less. I think you can work the angle that schizophrenia makes you special, crazy, creative, and unique. Just be confident and don’t let it bother you. I bet if you told people they would say you look normal; that’s what they say to me. The funny thing is before I got sick, people used to comment on my behavior and looks. A lot of people thought I was high. Now, everyone says I look normal.
Thanks that means a lot u guys. Even someone taking the time to read what I have to say is worth it. Also could it be that I’m in college and people still might hold onto that judgemental side of them. I’ve heard the older you get the nicer and more compassionate you become (in most cases). Also I think a lot of the other students are high or drunk most of the time to even care (I go to a big party school, however I didn’t come for that reason. I love skiing and the music scene out here). Maybe it’s because I came from a 300 student high school where anything you said someone would either try to put it down or talk about what you said later in a negative light. It’s less of the genes that shaped my illness more about the environment I grew up in. Always being put down for anything you said or tried to do and people using each other they called friends. Theres a lotta trauma from high school which makes me scared to share my opinion and be open because I feel I’m still in that mode of you have to be a certain way or you’ll be verbally bombed by another person. Its a struggle. I think I might talk to a counselor on campus (I get 6 free times to see one per semester) to see what I can do to improve my college life. In a school with an average of 30,000 I can’t be the only one to walk in with similar issues.
I know the feel bro. Like people think’s theres something wrong with you instead of just be chill because you’re slightly different. Don’t worry that gets better. You’ll find normality somewhat. I had to deal with the same ■■■■. People staring at me awkwardly after everything I said. Now they don’t do it because of “conformity” I guess. ■■■■ People and conformity, but it has to be done.
To me it sounds like you feel as if you are not valued by others…the psychological concept of self worth.
Be proud of your past and go out there, go to NAMI meetings, join a social club like a recreational sport (I suggest maybe self defense classes or yoga or cycling or softball) if you are religious, go to church and meet people there, if I was a devout religious person I would go to young adult meetings but I masturbated last night after studying psychology all day and today I took an exam in sociology and went to biology class and then studied biology and well you can smell that I am more of a skeptic and less of a religious person…
Honestly, I hangout with super liberal people, I am a left wing libertarian myself. My buddies are from high school and they’re liberal as ■■■■ too (or else we wouldn’t be friends, right?)
I deal with stigma by researching it in school. I have a thesis on stigma in progress. That’s the extreme of dealing with stigma.
Patrick Corrigan has written like 14 books on mental illness stigma. Pick one up!
I don’t even look at it in that light anymore. I understand why people conform because they want to be relatable to more people. But thats not me. If I had to classify myself I’m a misfit. I just do what I like even if it is considered childish or uncool. Man I’ll listen to Del the Funky Homosapien all day and play fallout, while other people are smoking talking about drama. Its just what I like more. I mean I want to be apart of a group of friends (haven’t turned completely asocial yet) but I always feel theres something behind what they are doing to screw with me. The worst part is the last person I told, he did actually try to screw with me like playing songs that had lyrics of “you’re worthless” or negative 2nd person insults and he knew he was doing it. My generation (94-97) has some very not nice people.
I’m thinking more like your mind conforms, rather than you conform to society. You become the norm even though you stay outside the norm. Every generation has some very not nice people. I thought the same thing when I was your age. Kids I’ve met 94-97 tend to respect me. As you get older things get easier, because things get easier when you’re more experienced than others.
Sorry if I’m not making much sense I’m kind of tired.
Did you make up the three evolutions of Kanye? Anyway every day you post something that makes me laugh out loud.
How long have you been at college? It can be quite an adjustment, seeing the world go from 300 people to 30,000. But there is almost definitely at least one other person on your campus with a similar story. Do what Mouse said, and find a club or sport that holds your interest. You’ll meet other people who have similar interests, and then you can talk.
Something I realized pretty quickly in college is that everyone feels lonely and wishes they had more friends. Everyone left home for the first time and is struggling to make sense of their new life surrounded by people they’ve never met. So, chances are, if you try to make friends with someone they will be grateful?
Yes it goes standard Kanye, Yeezolo, then Yeezus and I hope your laughing with me and not at me. And @cj9556 I’ve been here for 3 years though I’m still a sophomore cause I got suspended because of drugs and illness for one year. And yea I’ll try to find something like a group I just need to develop better “collegiate social skills”
Definitely with you. That was perfect. I read it to my roommate who was still laughing about not living in Pokeballs because that’s not what gods do hours later.
You are delightful and I am glad you’ve joined us. I can’t imagine that people who get to know you in person wouldn’t think the same.
Remember you need an evolution 2 Jay Zigarillo to be able to catch one. And thank you my day is feeling really good but that was icing on the cake. Now I want some pie but all I have is popcorn. And its great to talk to everyone on hear and listen in on what people have to say. Not to stereotype but I find anyone with SZ has the ability to have a practically genius creative mind even if it is in the form “of a delusion.” One mans delusion is anothers creative view of reality. However I still believe we need to work on some of our creative ways of thinking about reality and harness it into creative power and insight. That’s why I’m calling for an SZ rap group. We could be called “The Supa Zillas” as an acronym for SZ. Release 2 critically acclaimed albums then disband due to the fact we would’ve transcended hip hop and music.
[surreptitiously adds you to my crush list]
If that’s the case then I have to tell “Aaron” that you have a crush on Kazma. Then she’ll tell her friends through a group text chat (insert sarcastic middle school pretentious voice). This is Facebook worthy. 
But anyway thanks for the support. I haven’t heard anyone say I made them laugh in a couple years. Last time I remember I made someone shoot chocolate milk out there nose. It’s been a lonely couple of years
I joined Cinema Club, but didn’t fit in. But I still have some friends on Face Book from there. I only made two real friends at my school. It was a big party school as well.
You will find your niche. I spotted a fellow Sz at the Disabilty Services Office on campus.
Sorry this isn’t very helpful, because I’m tired. Someone should tell me, “you’re tired, metime go home!”
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BTW Everyone should follow @SenileDonDraper on Twitter if you like Madmen.
