Different stories around stigma since I got diagnosed (Vent)

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Today got me wondering…

I was at one of my moms friends christmas party earlier (I only drank water btw) and I disclosed openly I have sz, like for the first time in my life I was able to do so. They were talking about this bipolar girl that needed to take zyprexa and because she gained so much weight on it, they wanted to take her off the medication and I said it wasn’t like that, she could probably use another ap, but to not take her off just because of the weight gain, she needs the medication to stay stable and all of that…

After that they started talking about a borderline girl, and the tone changed. Of course, this person did a lot of stupid and mean stuff and they were right to be mad at her, but the tone changed. Now she was to blame for her disorder, like it was her fault she was like that.

Got me wondering about all of those other times people blamed me for my actions because of my paranoia or because of my psychosis.

These particular bunch didn’t do that, but acted like they felt sorry for me. I didn’t like it, I actually realized I feel empowered by the illness. Makes me stronger to live with this.

Reminded me of my brother in law the other day leading me on a guilt trip because of my past behavior, sending little subtle messages like I need to get my ■■■■ together, because I’m the black sheep of the family.

I have my ■■■■ together now. I’m well aware of my mistakes, if he or my older sister bothered to call me and see how I’m doing they would know. But no, I’m lazy and an addict and I need constant reminder of that.

Other time, this “friend” made it clear that she “was better than me” because I have a mental illness and she doesn’t. Subtle little reminders of how I was so twisted and psychotic and she wasn’t.

That’s why I never disclose the illness to anyone. Did that today, actually felt good. Maybe I’ll just keep doing it to help end the little stigmas around me.

What venting do you need to do around this subject?

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I found that talking about it really helps although I try to be careful who I disclose to. People are really surprised when they learn I have it. I’m actually thinking about vlogging about my experience with mi. Or maybe blogging. Will see.

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That’s a good idea. You have my thumbs up!

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Sounds like you are both very strong and will make a difference for yourselves and for people with mental illness in general.

For myself, I can’t even talk about this stuff without breaking down because a couple of siblings treat me badly and believe that mental illness instantly disqualifies a person from basic respect and consideration. Very painful.

For my family member with sz, I have not told anyone at family member’s request and just have to listen to a bunch of people in our small town say horrible, unthinking things about some of my relative’s behaviors. I would like to say, “Yes, I am aware that _____ has untreated mental illness. Sometimes symptoms become overwhelming to the point that ______'s behavior becomes unusual or even unsafe. Stigma like what you are spouting is one of the reasons _____ refuses medical treatment. So, what else are you up to lately?”

Just venting. I believe that if most people were well-informed they would be caring and kind.

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It’s great you have the courage to do that.

I might try it sometime.

And I’m sorry people are so hard on you.

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No, I have never said it! It’s what I would sometimes “like” (not really) to say…

Good thread; it reminds me it is up to me to live my life. And I would not break my family member’s confidence (except anonymously; I hope that does not count.).

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Aaha! Okay okay, it would be cool to say it though, maybe a little rude too :blush: Too much honesty can be rude!

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Well I’ve done more than enough venting around here lately after holding my tongue like I have all my life. But I would never be able to vent in real life.
As I may have mentioned my work had to know after 2-3 relapses in 17 years. But one of my bosses told me one day, afterward, he had a roommate with sz, so maybe that’s why they just didn’t get rid of me. Because most companies don’t want any liability.

So I still stick with don’t tell any employers because you won’t get hired In the first place, that was proven to me.

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Keep it out of the office on interviews, I agree with that.

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I have actually had pretty good success when I tell people I know that I have SZ; which I rarely do. I guess it’s because I don’t talk about it much and I don’t show many outward signs of the disorder; I mainly stay to myself.

Now if I’ve told other people, that I don’t know, it’s 50/50.

Minnii, did you say you are from Portugal?

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I can’t say I’ve suffered with the stigma haven’t especially kept it hush hush. More of a need to know basis, the core of my family and friends know to help spot signs of possible relapsing symptoms. Other then that I dont need people knowing because I believe after they have knowledge of sz then they will naturally let their biased views towards mentall illnesses skew there perceptions of reactions towards your actions (stay with me here I know it’s getting a bit convoluted) but they will either make allowances, allow negative perspectives to intensify either mistrust and create distance or probably worst of all dismiss you out of hand. So unless they are trusted to make neutral assessments of my actions to help me monitor my mental wellbeing then they stay ignorant.

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I have a 13 year gap in my work CV that I can only explain by talking about schizophrenia. I have no choice. My current employer is totally fine about it. However if I did not have the gap I would keep my schizophrenia secret except on here. You don’t know how people will react. Maybe fine maybe not. It’s a shame because it would be much better if we could admit it. I am able to hide my symptoms so that is what I do when I have them and no one else knows. Thank goodness for this site!

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Yes I’m from Portugal.

I kept quiet about it the first year, I was also in denial so there wasn’t much to say about it. When people asked I just said it was psychosis, but they don’t know its a symptom just that it exists… So I wouldn’t explain.

I’ve been more open about it now and it feels good to tell people, even when the reactions aren’t that great.

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I understand that perfectly, I keep it quiet in school. There was this teacher of mine that said people with illnesses should not be taking my degree. I disagree with her and it was the fastest way to shut up about it.

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If you have to say it, you’re probably not.

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