One of the symptoms I have with CPTSD and with my probable autism is that I have trouble expressing my emotions to others. My therapist and I are working on expressing my emotions and my therapist told me to identify 5 emotions that I have been feeling the past two weeks. I grew up hiding my emotions and as a result I don’t express myself that often. I always wanted to make my parents feel proud and happy, and my mom keeps telling me that I can express what I want to say to her but I have trouble talking about what I feel. How do you all deal with this?
I also don’t think an autism screening is available for me at this point in time. I’m neurotypical-passing and my family aren’t sure about the testing, although we’re thinking of it.
Hey. Good that you are working on that. I think it is an important part of healing.
Unless you are a minor, I think you yourself should feel whether the autism screening is good for you. Does your family not agree? Or is it also practically not available?
I have wondered whether I am autistic. I would guess broader autistic phenotype. I was extremely sensitive and introverted as a child. I would be social and look normal and play with friends. But it was never possible to show my self, my thoughts and feelings and likes and boundaries. I dissociated and have C-PTSD as well.
For me…I never had access to a therapist…but I healed a large part of my alexythymia. I still struggle sometimes, it is not 100%…but I built all sorts of bridges to the outside world…that I did not have. And that is very healing.
If you are interested, I can tell you what helped me?
My family has thought about it but we are not sure if registering me into the system is worth it. It might only cause more barriers in getting a job, or perhaps moving to another province or country.
Inner child work is super, super helpful right now. We’re working on identifying emotions as well. Therapy overall has been very helpful although I seriously wanted to give up.
I feel deeply, but struggle identifying and expressing my emotions. I can’t cry. I don’t yell. I very rarely get angry and even more rarely express it.
What I do is get anxious and depressed. I rock, I wring my hands, I move my toes in repetitive motions…but I don’t express emotions.
I feel love, I feel sadness. I feel anxious. But the other types of emotions are hard for me to identify. I was raised to not show emotion. If I did, I was beaten. It made me unable to do so.
I’m working with a therapist on many things, and identifying and expressing emotions is one of them.