Could not face going back to work

I got very paranoid to the point I asked one of my colleagues if she thought my other colleague was saying something bad about me. I am so embrassed that I was contemplating if I should go back. I explained the situation to my colleague saying I know I got paranoid and I know it was irrational of me to have these thoughts, she said everyone there misses me… and she means it. I will go back but I am just awaiting my treatment to start.

So the situation isn’t that bad. Not everyone hates me.

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I think if you have social anxiety that is just the way it is. Starting another job would not help because you would feel uncomfortable and worried but this time just with a new set of people.

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I know. I’m learning to accept it’s the anxiety talking . I just don’t want to get into that cycle of quitting another job again. Because I have a really flexible civil service job that’s zero hours. Meaning if im not feeling well I can just take time off for a bit and no one says anything. Won’t get that kind of job again.

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I can’t face going to work at all so your doing better than me

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Yeah, I have a friend with GAD, and I figure it must be tough because almost every morning when he comes into the recovery centre he’s so anxious he has panic attacks at times. Just getting nervous for no reason at all, really. Yikes!

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My partner goes over and over this with me. He’s patient. But as much as I know what he’s saying I can’t let it register.

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The jury is still out on whether my co-workers like me or not. In theory, they can all go to hell for all I care, but dammit, a part of me likes to be liked.

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All l can say is that I’m trying to get over my need of everyone liking me. Besides, there are certain people I don’t think I like because they’re just trouble, really.

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Well, if you’ve only been liked by two people in your entire life than someone liking me is a big deal. Only a slight exaggeration.

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To be honest @77nick77 I don’t want to give a crap about it… I don’t want to care. It’s so damn difficult though.

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“Different strokes for different folks.” I stay out of office politics as much as possible.

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It’s just that it’s a harsh world and you have to be your own best friend, sometimes. That’s why I moved away from Mom, because she was depressed, maybe codependent and who knows what else.

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I know it is harsh @Mim130 … I feel that I’m way too harsh on myself and because I see myself negatively I expect everyone else too as well. It’s really difficult to get out of that thinking pattern as I don’t know how… It’s like telling someone with psychosis what they thinking is not true.

I don’t think all my thinking is right but it FEELS true and I can’t simply change the way I think its really difficult.

Yeah, @anon80629714, living alone by myself gets me ruminating about the horrible person I was years ago. I know there’s still certain people maybe that still see me that way. But, I know that the people who really love me now would never hold that against me. I’ve found that if you’re vulnerable enough the right people will gravitate towards you and some really amazingly positive things can happen to you. You know one thing I’ve noticed about you since coming back? I don’t think you’ve been swearing as much. You’ve come a long way, so stay strong.

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I feel this way about church, people whom I love and admire thinking I am a bad person. I want to cry. I can’t go back there even though I care about them.

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Really that’s sweet I don’t think I ever swear :grin: I don’t usually swear in real life.

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I’m glad youve been able to turn things around for you. Stay positive and be happy always.

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I can relate! I just started a new job after working in sales for 4 1/2 years. The difference being I have a lot (a ton!) more co-workers. We’re all jammed in this mini warehouse and having sza and gad spells trouble for me at times.
Remember to know ambivalence; meaning it’s not a question of being liked 100% or disliked 100%. For me, as long as I’m a nice guy who gets nervous-- it is what it is.

Sounds like your ears are giving you the most trouble. My ears listening to me speak gives me the most angst. Sometimes I am able to luck my way into thinking positively. I keep searching for myself when I talk… only way I can ‘turn the tide.’ I’m off to work, good luck!

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