Im really getting sick of this illness, its been with me my whole life, at least most people got a chance to know what being sane felt like, all of you who were hit with symptoms at some point later in life rather than being born with it should consider yourselves very lucky to have had the chance to know what being sane feels like… i never got that chance and i want to.know what it feels like so bad… but i will never know, im too messed up, theres no hope for me… how can i be gone when i was never here to begin with? Hate this brain cant i just cut it out of my skull and swap it with a fresh one?
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We are just unlucky…
At least i know im not the only one suffering, somehow it makes it not as bad
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We have to love with this forever. …bad luck…
Im just so curious what it would have been like to not have had any symptoms during early stages of life… i really want to know what it feels like to have no symptoms at all
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How old are u Matt
30… message was too short lol
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U are still younger then me …!!! WWhat was ur diagnosis. …
Paranoid schizophrenia, but i get or have had most symptoms from all types of schizophrenia, also have brain damage from being beaten nearly to death at age 2 and insomnia… all kinds of fun stuff!
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Omg sorry to hear that …u are a tuff looking person in my opinion…
Im considering seeing if any hippies at the rainbow gathering are traveling south for the winter and got room for one more, leave my woman behind. Maybe she will appreciate me more if i dissapear for a few months
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What makes u going…
Just feel like dissapearing and traveling for a while, also it gets a bit cold here i wanna go somewhere warm for the winter
I hear your suffering. I’ve had paranoid schizophrenia since I was 19 in 1980. 37 years. And actually my symptoms probably started when I was 17. Probably nothing I could say would help. But I will give you a compliment and say that you write very well and coherently and lucidly.
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Thanks for the compliment that is certainly appreciated
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Yes @MattMeadBrewer I also feel like I have been ill since early childhood,
I also feel like I’m too messed up and there’s no hope for me,
I need a new body and a new brain.
classic schizophrenia typically starts in early childhood, so you’re not alone in this.
Hey, at least you have company 
@MattMeadBrewer we live in a world where anything is possible.
Perhaps one day we will get new brains and bodies.
Meanwhile try to do what you can in the difficult circumstances that you are facing.
Me too I am ill since kid you know. For me too its strange that the most of the people here got ill later in their life… I was always unhappy, always with this messed brain too… It wasn’t obvious since kid but I am sad too cause its a worse prognosis to have sz since kid :/…
Are you low functioning too @MattMeadBrewer? me, I have nothing in my life except my mom… I just take my meds with the hope to feel at least something on them. I even dont know what should I feel… maybe its just a bad dope that the docs give to us, idk anymore…
I have read lots of differrnt articals.
for those not having it during childhood -
Males usually have onset about age twenty.
Females closer to age thirty.
This is for those which it happens to naturally and not induced by a neurological problem, drugs, or head trauma.
Like they say, “Misery loves company.” The suffering we go through is a strong bond between us. Memories of when I was “normal” seem so long ago they’re just faint ghosts in my mind.