Schizophrenia.com

Confused and Suspicious

After being arrested for using my high beams, to find out about a warrant and a charge of conspiracy to rob the house a friend was killed in five days after I had left, it’s reasonable to say my symptoms are getting worse. I was refused my anti psychotic medication In the jail after dad had brought them there. They refused to let him get me and confused it with a federal warrant because …it’s the first ticket I’ve gotten. I was never summoned. I was locked up with felons. My charge: conspiracy to commit burglary.

I went to my preliminary trial and my lawyer told me to sign a paper waiving my right to a preliminary trial because he said they have no case against me and the prosecutor told him he wasn’t seeking an inditement. That means they can tell I’m innocent right? But I’m still confused, and my dad has all the information on the case not me. I need to ask him to show me the papers and information from discovery because i want to know what’s going on.

I found my moms suicide note. It made me cry. It said near the end “the money is in the hall” and I found all these insurance papers and stocks and dividends. I took some pictures of the information. I’m wondering if I actually have auto insurance for me. And there are school tests picture books things I thought forever lost and dad saved all of them!! Including my moms civil rights letters of support for ending war and torture. I found her surgery records from a botched leg surgery at 18.

My mom had 11 credit cards. I think she may have almost put him in debt for his life and that was why they were fighting and her illness is why she was doing it. I found forged checks because it looks like my mom tried to forge his name or something.

I’m feeling a mixture of pain confusion sorrow nostalgia pride etc

Both my brother and I did really well in school he was in the 99th percentile a bunch of tests. I was in the 99th percentile on a Stanford test and then I found other tests I never was told about that I did well in 3rd grade which I didn’t think I had, but that was in another file.

My mom obviously caused him a lot of stress. They were so in love…all I remember is their endless love devotion and support. My dad really tried to protect us when we were kids from my moms illness when they thought it was depression.

I’m happy my dad has become so successful. But it’s weird since he moved out and he didn’t even tell me where he moved. I’m so overwhelmed why can’t I just be myself and not be normal. Apparently insanity is linked to genius too.

My mom was protesting war and other organizations. I found sixteen letters and more from people at the protest, including one activist Joshua Harris and priests and friends.

Looking through everything made me realize how much my dad loves me and how much i value my family history.

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that’s insane :S hope everything turns out well

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WTF!

It sounds like the police officers in WV are the ones that should be given the crazy meds!

Hang in there, I can’t imagine going through such a hell!

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Ill be ok. I’m just upset that I was arrested based on suspicion without given a chance to defend myself. I contacted the ACLU about it. I said in a witness statement that I saw a friend looking around the house. I never saw or witnessed him take anything and I never went back after I left.

I don’t know what happened after I left and my friend decides to go to this guys house at the last minute and meet everyone there. Why would he have robbed him if he was showing up in like an hour? It makes no sense!

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woooooow starry night that really sucks! I’ve found my self in situations like that before. God it is confusing and really scary.

If I were you though I’d probably just not think about it anyway, because your caregivers seem to just be hiding everything from you because they think you’re “steriotypically” just a retart…

Least that’s what it soudn’ts like to me. People have done that to me before, and it’s REALLY hard to prove you’re not like that so I would just advise you to not even try.

I know right? it’s like the whole world is above your head and you can’t see it at all.

The caregivers don’t know what they’re doing in this type of situation- just so everyone knows that IMO-

People don’t realize how this actually drives a person madder----- much madder than even trolling people do----

I’m glad to hear someone has it worse than me.

suggestions for the dxed:

You can get yourself out of that confusion if you’re really driven and creative with problem solving— idk if it’s worth it though. (actually yeah it is worth it-- being reguarded as “sane” by caregivers genuinely is more precious than gold).

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Well I tried to see if my dad would see a movie with him. Then he started talking about how I spend all my money. I told him that I needed it for gas and food. I mentioned the two couches he bought would have cost my school tuition. Then he flipped out. He said he wanted to get a divorce and sacrificed everything for me. He said he will be gone and was yelling and screaming and speeding around people while I was with him in the car. He said I shouldn’t have bought presents for him when I got them from good will because I’m not supposed to spend my money? I get $30 every week day. He threw away my credit card that I was approved for. I’m completely dependent on him. He hired my lawyer. He bailed me out of jail.

My dad moved out of the house so it’s just me taking care of my mom now. I’m really hurt.

I was sobbing on the phone to my friend who calmed me down. I can’t afford college, I have a severe mental illness, and I have no future.

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Can you go to community college or is that too expensive. You poor thing. :frowning: is your mom still alive? Can you get her to a mental hospital for suicidal thoughts? Does your dad know about her wanting to commit suicide?

My mom is ok now. She’s not suicidal. But she has psychosis. My dad is working on figuring out a solution. He’s thinking that she will need a long term commitment as in, we discussed how she could live on her grandmothers property and he could hire a caretaker, but I mentioned that its very isolated there and I didn’t think she could be alone like that. She already feels isolated at home, so I let her use the car sometimes because it helps her. She’s not supposed to be driving because she had a few instances of driving on someones property and yelling at them. That caused a state charge of trespassing, and now I’m also having legal problems. Even though I didn’t knowingly trespass my lawyer said the worst case would be a plea to a misdemeanor of trespassing you can see how upsetting this is to me.

I paid a fee of $145 for failure to yield soon enough after being pulled over for a fake reason: because I don’t remember flashing anyone with my headlights. He dropped that ticket, and also the failure to provide accurate insurance. My paper was outdated by a month and I had just gotten my dad to print out the current insurance that day, and hadn’t gotten it from him.

I drove to DC and almost got stuck because I ended up at the toll booth, with the same guy who was there last time, and didn’t have enough money to pay for my toll. I called my dad and he transferred money. My dad has reasonable justification for being stressed out and upset. I haven’t been as responsible as I could have been. I was with the wrong crowd of people and I was immature to be how I was.

After my ex-bf died of a heroin overdose, I was very emotional and upset. I couldn’t be around opiates. I threw away the rest of my mom’s painkillers and flushed them after she had them for awhile and I thought she had been over the pain from her oral surgery. I was talking to people on facebook. I think about him from time to time. I really cared about him. It feels selfish to say that I was trying to convince him not to continue, not to go out that morning. We fought about it. He waved a broom at me. But I thought pills were ok. My other friend died from opiates I think. So she died of pills. My boyfriend died from a fatal combination of heroin and fetenol or something else. I found out from his adopted sister when she told me the autopsy results. His body supposedly shut down within 5-8 minutes. I was with his son and we found him on the bathroom floor and I couldn’t get inside, but I pushed the door to see that he had fallen in front of it.

To see someone I love pulled away like that was just scary. I was in such shock that I seemed calmer than I was. But when confronted with that I just shut down. I’ve never witnessed an overdose before. But I left the house where a friend later overdosed, and I feel like I should have called the police or realized that she might have been overdosing then, to prevent them to continue feeding her drugs or for her to get help before it was too late. The man who said we broke into his house, and that my friend is being accused of robbing—is the one who is charged with first degree murder for either a. not taking her to the hospital after she OD’d or even was doing it on purpose so that she would die. That’s why he’s being charged with first degree. Even if it was an accidental overdose, he didn’t call the hospital or police. She could have been saved then, I’ve been told she was over eight hours dead when she was taken to the hospital.

It’s really scary. I met my boyfriend from a dating ad on craigslist. I had no idea about his problem, and I took it all for granted. He let me stay at his house but I had only dated or known him for about two months. I met his family. I went to Seneca rocks with him. He was really sweet, and then I broke up with him because I found needles in a drawer and I couldn’t support him knowing about his problem. I wanted to make a stand, and I wanted to help him. It didn’t seem like he had it bad when I left, but the two weeks I was gone he must’ve gone on a binge. And when I came back to talk to him, I spent the night. while I was asleep he used my phone and called all these numbers to get drugs. I had my phone taken for investigation for about three months.

But I didn’t have any of his connections saved in my phone to my knowledge other than the one he had saved that I didn’t know what he was friends with for at first. He had been giving him rides to the “hospital” because he was sick. I didn’t realize at the time what was going on and the day I found out was the same day I saw that this dude pull out a huge bag of heroin and start cutting lines out for all three of them. And now these people are afraid for their families. While I haven’t said much about what happened. I was only interviewed once. The police already knew where my boyfriend was going because they picked up my phone and looked at the last call he had made. I still don’t know where he went. I know that the main suspect had been ignoring him…so it’s possible that someone did it on purpose.

It could have even been an undercover cop that sold him the fatal substance.

It would make sense if they are trying to catch dealers, but that’s scary and sad.

I’ve never actually seen someone shoot up with a drug. I plan on never witnessing that. I can’t handle the idea of painkillers, even if I had pain I wouldn’t want them. I would want a holiistic medicine that isn’t addictive and doesn’t hurt people. But if weed was federally legalized, then no one would have to contend with a drug dealer to get something that isn’t just recreational but medicinal and has health benefits.

My dad and I apologized through text message earlier. I said I was sorry and he said he was too and that we would talk tomorrow. I feel bad but more-so worried about him because of how upset he was. I think he’s stressed out and worried about us so much it’s getting to his nerves. I mean my brother moved out, my mom has chronic schizophrenia, I was charged for a crime I didn’t commit or conspire to commit or even witness, and on top of that he’s got all these bills–to pay for a lawyer for my mom and that this lawyer took me on was really nice.

My dad had to pay $2,500 upfront for a $25,000 bond from jail. I didn’t even understand what was going on. I was isolated for over 12 hours in the drunk tank without knowing how long I would be there. I was kept against my will when they knowingly could have let me see the magistrate then admitted to not reading my papers which read state not federal charge. Why are they doing this to witnesses as to the house four days prior? I’m not an actual witness to the overdose or murder. I drove everyone home. I didn’t think she had overdosed. I never even saw her doing pills or drugs that night other than weed. I saw her smoke a joint that the guy had rolled for her.

I don’t know what to do. I want to start making people happy and being successful and I want a job and make my family proud. I lost a 19 year old friend and a 32 year old boyfriend to drugs. I loved both of them a lot. They were both caring and compassionate, but lost to bad influences.

It sounds like people in WV have way too much time on their hands! The cops in Orlando have video tapes of one of my neighbors breaking into other neighbors houses and they say they don’t have enough evidence to prosecute.

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Well it’s bad. There’s a heroin and opiate epidemic in West Virginia: due to poverty and lack of proper welfare, health, or affordable rehab programs–people turn to drug dealing as a way to make money. It is gross in my mind and always has been, because these people prey on stupid teens or junkies and enable their addictions which will eventually ruin their lives. I would never sell opiates and I don’t want to be around that. But both people who died live in the same area which is one of the worst counties in WV for the heroin epidemic. The only way it stops is when a person starts seeing the effects around them.

I’ve never been addicted to opiates. I have never been prescribed opiates for my muscle nerve condition, but I probably could be. I am not in enough pain to warrant it. I don’t have severe pain and I’m trying to overcome it, I have always tried to be active and overcome it.

I probably am not even addicted to cigarettes. I have been thinking of quitting them. The two days in jail I was the happiest ever mostly because I wasn’t chain smoking, LOL. So it was a weird wake up call. I need to be more careful and that was the wake up call also that I need to figure out my future faster, and maybe get some kind of community help.

My dad’s been working on making a free rehab facility in Matinsburg, and getting a grant to have it built. This would be a place that people can choose to become inpatient, and then undergo a drug withdrawal and peer led addiction counseling, all for free! My dad is working on getting this approved. I think that’s great. He really cares about mental health and the community.

As you can see all this is probably hard on him though. I don’t mess with drugs anymore. I have smoked weed on occasion because I feel it helps me and is medicinal to my illness but I’m not addicted. I could stop today, which I probably will, or tell my therapist that I need help to stop smoking weed because when I’m stressed out that is what i turn to. It seems to help me process things and let go or see in a new perspective.

I just want world love and peace, I want everyone to be free and happy and successful–I don’t care about money. My dad is stressed about money. While I value money for our resources and as an estimate of how much you can have–I think more people should have more money. I also wonder why I can’t make as much money as my dad? Because my brother and I are both very smart like him. But I have an illness which prevented me from finishing college.

If you can quit cigarettes, you definitely should! It could save you a lot of money and you could put it to better use.

About your bf and friend ODing, I know that must be very tough. At least they died very peacefully and pain free though.

You’re typing a lot, man. You seem stressed.

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Nah I’m not that stressed. I just didn’t sleep and stayed up all night writing my books lol

I’m OK!

I’m glad your mom is ok now. You have a lot of awful things happening in your life right now. I hope it gets better for you in the future. That would really suck to have to get a misdemeanor. A month isn’t very much time. That really sucks. Yeah it’s a shame that your friend and ex-bf died. I can only imagine how traumatizing that would be. That’s sad about your ex-bf’s son losing his dad. I’ve never witnessed an overdose before either, but I’m kind of a hermit. You couldn’t have done anything about her overdosing. It’s not your fault. You didn’t even know until much later. I’m glad you reconciled with your dad. That’s a lot of money to have to pay for bond, and just sucks since you didn’t do anything. That sounds like you still have hope in life, and it’s good that you still hope for a bright future.

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Thanks for the support. Reading your comment earlier really helped me with the stress.

I have had a few manic spells lately. I called the courts and cried on the phone, which was stupid. The circuit court said I wasn’t in their system, so I think that means my lawyer has worked hard and made a case for dismissal. I wish I hadn’t gotten paranoid and did that. I started thinking it was a set up and that the lawyer wanted me to waive my preliminary trial so that I’d be screwed and he’d get more money for legal fees but it doesn’t work that way. My dad paid him and the lawyer was nice enough to take this on when it wasn’t in his best interest or he could’ve done other people/ he’s very nice and I feel bad. That’s probably why he requested my health records, to explain some of my mental health issues that could be misinterpreted.

I didn’t actually witness anyone robbing the house and we were meeting the owners within hours, so it doesn’t even make sense that my friends would have robbed him knowing he would be showing up soon. But I can’t say either way, because I don’t know and I don’t talk to any of those people anymore. I’ve spoken briefly with a couple people involved but never met in person since after I was arrested and one of them tried to get me to come to DC with him to see the pope.

This whole case has pretty much ended those relationships.

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I’m glad that I helped you. I’ve done stupid things before too, especially while not on medicine. It’s easy to panic about a court case that involves your family, let alone one you have to attend yourself. I was scared of going to court just to be part of a jury, plus I didn’t have a driver’s license yet at the time, so I got it waived through my psychiatrist because I have schizophrenia so I didn’t have to go. That sucks about your relationships being ended, but maybe they are avoiding you because of the court case and they don’t want to get in trouble? That really sucks to lose all of those relationships like that. It seems to me, though I’m not sure, that you are guilty by association, and none of them are backing you? That’s sad. I’m sorry that’s happening to you.

I’m not guilty. I don’t want to discuss this anymore.

sorry I didn’t mean you are guilty, I meant you are being blamed because of association with other people. I don’t think you are guilty. I am sorry.

Its ok. It is just very stressful and overwhelming. I don’t like being pulled into other people’s messes. I want to be left alone, and not be involved in this case at all. The more I think about it, the worse I feel. I’m not sure if my rights were violated or not, and I feel really upset because with them refusing to give me my medication while isolated and then refusing to let me see the magistrate because they didn’t read my papers, then keeping my license and purse. It seems like I have been targeted.

I don’t know if you are being targeted or not, but you are being treated badly that is for sure. I can’t believe they wouldn’t let you have your meds.